Anne with an 'e'

Wednesday morning

2012-01-25T11:36:00.001-08:00

We drove up to the blue house around 10:00 last night after a long, rainy, windy drive home from the coast. Don't worry, Roger got the flu an hour before we left, so he threw up about 9 times on the way home. By the end it was just him and his sallow little face, wearing only undies, clutching his Sierra Mist, finding solace in the distraction of scholastic DVDs. I got to hold the barf bucket, dumping it out the window intermittently. Awesome.

I let Blaine sleep in until 10 am and kept him home from school. When I was a teacher I would have though that was lame. But now I'm a mom and, didn't you hear? Mother knows best.

Now, at 11:26, I'm in bed in my awesome gray sweats, reading the Book of Mormon on my phone (which luxury I adore), wondering if i could pull off red lipstick, hoping Mitt can pull it out, and watching my boys. The olders are playing poussin rouge, the coolest website ever. The babe is rolling and crawling around on the floor with a mechanical pencil and eating from the pile of cheerios I dumped on the ground for him.

My life is so glam ;)

Gung hay fat choy!!!

2012-01-22T16:21:00.002-08:00

Happy Year of the Dragon everyone!

Happy Birthday, Monkey!

2012-01-21T14:52:00.003-08:00

When Blaine arrived home from school Thursday he asked, "Mom, can you make some banana bread?"

"Not today," I replied.

Then, in an angry, oppressed, you-are-a-terrible-person tone of voice he yelled back, "WHAT?! But it's monkey's birthday!!!!"

Like every one should have known that.

"Oh," I said, surprised. "You didn't tell me it was his birthday."

"Well it is!"

"OK then, we'd better make him some banana bread!"

We spent the rest of the afternoon in party preparations. Thankfully, monkey had a long nap so we were able to keep it a surprise. The boys wrapped up several presents all by themselves (some books and a banana, of course). I worked on the bread and party hats.

It was one of the best afternoons I can remember.

Behold: Monk's birthday party...

Peekaboo

2012-01-20T15:01:00.002-08:00

Where's Carter?

Read this.

2012-01-20T09:07:00.003-08:00

Here is one of the best articles I've ever read. She puts so beautifully (and wittily) into words so many of the feelings and thoughts every mother has. Seriously, take 5 minutes and read it. I was laughing my head off one minute and crying the next.

anne

Crazy hair day

2012-01-17T08:24:00.001-08:00

'Mom! I want to look like an angry bird!'

What I wore to Church: The Colonel meets Gilligan meets Oompa Loompa

2012-01-15T20:46:00.006-08:00

I wore my favorite outfit to church yesterday. My favorite because I like the combination, but also my favorite because each of the individual items are my favorites.

The skirt is from Shabby Apple and has been a great find. (I did a lot of looking for the right navy pencil skirt.) I love that it is nice and long, really comfy for a high-waisted skirt, and the gold sailor buttons give it a little extra character. Here's something I need to learn to make: pencil skirts.
The blouse I got a few years ago at Down East. I'm crazy for a tie neck blouse. I think it dates back to my sister, Kathryn, rocking them in the early 1980's. Either that or our family's connection to the colonel. (Never heard that bit of my family history? My grandpa was bff with Colonel Sanders and owned a bunch of KFC's back in the day. My mom has a diamond necklace with the Colonel's face on it. My uncle wet the bed on the Colonel. True story.)

These are my favorite pair of colorful tights this year. They're from Forever 21 (who has an astonishing online selection of tights). I've been told I look like an Oompa Loompa in them.

The shoes are my favorite brand, Seychelles. I love Seychelles because their shoes are impeccably made, unique, and ultra comfortable. They are pretty spendy unless you find a good deal on Zappos, which is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest companies ever.

If I were a really cool blogger I would have taken these pictures with nice outdoor light instead of in my bathroom after dark (Taylor: "What are you doing in there?"), but I missed my daylight window while I was sacked out on my Mother's couch after our family lunch. That nap also accounts for my wrinkly skirt. But you get the idea.

And lest you should think I only care about the clothes I wear to church, tomorrow I'll tell you about an amazing thing that happened yesterday after the Sunday School class I teach.

xo,

anne

Double Proud

2012-01-13T13:47:00.009-08:00

So about a month ago I was standing in Craft Warehouse, looking through their Christmas fabrics and trying to determine how much I needed to make pajama pants for three little boys. {I had to borrow the pattern from a friend, and I didn't have it yet.} As I unrolled the bolts of Dr. Seuss fabric for Rog's pants and found the perfect print from Moda to go on my honey jars, I looked up on the shelf and saw this book:

I had a major moment of happy pride. My friend, Danielle, is published in this book. I had seen it on her blog before but had never actually thumbed through the book before. It was so fun to see her handiwork published! I felt like shouting at the old lady browsing the embroidery thread, "Hey! This is my friend! Look at this! My friend is published!"

About five minutes later, while I was having my fabric cut, a woman came up to me and asked, "Did you make your bag? It's gorgeous!" My heart swelled with pride again as I replied, "Yes, I did!" And here's why: I am not a seamstress. I love fabric. I love the feel, the color, and the endless possibilities. But I am a total novice. My lines are skeewampus, I don't know the proper terminology for most anything, and the projects I normally take on are insanely easy. This bag (which I tackled right before Carter was born) is my pride and joy. It was the first project I've done with a pattern almost by myself (I had help from my friend, Lisa, and my mom and m-i-l!). So, it's kind of like the first time I made real frosting for cupcakes (on Blaine's first birthday). A huge accomplishment and a new world. So after I directed the complimentary woman to the patterns in the store (Amy Butler's birdie sling), I felt like shouting to the old lady looking at embroidery thread once again: "I made this! Did you hear that?! Me! Little ol' me! I did it!"

So now I get to be triple proud. (Don't worry. I messed up on these really badly so it's totally not going to my head.) Here are the pjs I made for the boys. They got to open them up on Christmas Eve. It was so darling watching them race down the stairs, sleepy-eyed on Christmas morning, in their white T's and homemade pants.
Rog got the Grinch because no one loves the Grinch more than Rog.
Blaine and Carts (the twins that they are) got matching sock monkeys.
The best part was how they squealed and jumped and hugged me as they ripped the packages open. To be honest, after all that work, I would have been crushed if they hadn't reacted excitedly (and I may or may not have communicated that to them as I handed them their gifts that night!).

So now I'm ready to shout again, "Hey, embroidery lady, look at me! I made these pants! All by myself!"

I am so outnumbered.

2012-01-09T23:23:00.002-08:00

There are so many more boys than girls in this house! The other day Blaine said, 'Mom, can you get down the Dangerous Book for Boys for me? And then can you please leave my room? It's got secret stuff just for boys.'

Awesome.

I'm predicting all boys. Hopefully they'll turn out as strapping as Mitt's.

Pictured: what it looks like when I go to the mall. And now that I'm feeling sooooo much better, the mall sounds pretty fun. Shall we, Mom?

Friday

2012-01-06T20:39:00.002-08:00

The heavens smiled down on us. By Friday evening I felt really pretty good. And Carter, who'd been barfing, etcetera, was back to normal as well.

We celebrated with Rio and pizza and togetherness.

And then Taylor carried the boys to bed like he does every night.

The hardest thing for me about being sick isn't how I feel physically, but what a nutcase I become as I stress over what I'm not accomplishing. By the end I was able to be calm and say, "I've been forced to slow down, so what should I be reflecting on?" Which is huge progress.

I really appreciate everyone's well wishes. Thanks for being so kind.

On another note, do you read My Sparkle? You should. Danielle is my creative hero. And you should vote for her on Project Run and Play. Wwwwwwoooooowwwwww.

Happy weekend!
anne

Reality

2012-01-04T11:39:00.001-08:00

Thanks for the kind words, friends. You make me want to keep writing.

Here we are today--in the Walmart parking lot. Rog is eating the Nestle Drumstick I just bought him. I thought he deserved it after being dragged around. I was so light headed in there I almost called someone to pick me up. I'm on week 3 of leg aches, headaches, general feverishness, and now light headedness. I've considered the swine flu, cancer, meningitis, lupes, mono, you name it. One thing I have for sure: hypochondria. It's probably a wacky hormone shift or a virus. But don't you worry I just bought a pregnancy test too, because, as stated above, I'm considering pretty much everything.

Now I'll go back to sitting in my disgustingly filthy minivan and watching chocolate ice cream drip down Rog's hands. Here's to keeping it real.
XO,
Anne

Inside my brain and Blogging 2012

2012-01-03T11:36:00.010-08:00

{Family photos, Dec. 2011, 10 minutes on a FREEZING, foggy day! My boys are good to me.}

Happy New Year!

Can you tell that I did most of my blogging last month from my phone? It's just so easy to throw a pic or two on a post while I'm nursing the babe. But I haven't been saying much. And, as it turns out, I have a lot to say.

We had a great December. No matter how much shopping I get done in October, how much planning ahead I do, December always feels like a whirlwind and I'm sad when it's all over. If I can motivate myself this week I'll post some pictures of all the events.

As sad as I get on the 26th of December though, it feels so good by January 1st to take it all down. The house looks so simple and fresh without the decor. I am in the mood to go through every closet and de-clutter. Usually I find January depressing, but I am really excited this year to get more organized and do a bunch of projects.

I've been thinking a lot about blogging. About why we do it, who it's for, if it's real, etc. I used to get sad that Bloom didn't grow more, faster. I thought, "we have so much great content on here, but people care more about 'eye candy' blogs." Not that I cared so much about ad revenue or anything, but I just wanted people to care about the things we were talking about. {This says a lot about my arrogance and pride. Apparently I just think I'm really cool and everyone should hang on my every idea!} I've finally come to a place where I know I want to keep blogging, but I'm happy to just be me, and it's OK if only a few people read it, and I don't need a zillion readers and/or comments to validate me or propel me on. If I feel like posting, I'll post. {I am an overly-analytical person. Can you tell?}

Another aspect of blogging/social networking that I have a hard time with is that we all talk so much about stuff. Heaven's sakes, sometimes Pinterest makes me physically ill because it makes me think so much about things. Don't get me wrong, I love stuff. I love beautiful things that make my home feel cozy and I love doing clever crafts with my children and heaven knows I love pretty cupcakes and clothes and jewelry. But sometimes I feel like there's such a heavy focus of this on blogs, etc. and I feel worried that all of these bright, educated, powerful women are spending way too much time on it all. At least I know I spend too much time thinking about stuff in my own life. And then I think: 'if my house burned down tomorrow none of this crap would matter.' And I think about the darlings recovering from the typhoon in the Philippines and just can't stand all my worldliness. Anyway, like I said, I'm not condemning pretty things. I think a lot of these things we blog about--cute parties, craft projects, etc. can really add to the quality of life and make things feel magical for our children. BUT, when we let ourselves feel dissatisfied by the things we don't have, it really takes away from our happiness.

Which leads me to talk about this:

Lots of us tend to post the good and beautiful in our lives. And I don't have too much a problem with that. I tend not to photograph my life on the days I'm sick on the couch with a pounding headache, watching TV, letting my kids eat candy for breakfast and play on the computer all day (we had a lot of those types of days last week; can't tell if I had a virus or am going through one of my typical, hormonally charged headache months). Nor do I love dwelling on those times. BUT. When we all read blogs/facebook/pinterest and compare our lives to the collective whole of all the bajillion cute women out there who are seemingly perfect, it begins to feel pretty deflating. And it's such a false sense of reality. This is one of the reasons I actually haven't read many blogs lately. I could feel myself feeling dissatisfied with my life. Which is so ridiculous and unhealthy.

So here's the deal. I'm going to try to post a lot in 2012. It makes me happy when I take a minute to share something or reflect on my life. And sometimes it will look really pretty. Like the Valentine's Day party I'm already drumming up. And sometimes I might be really vain and post a picture of my outfit just because I think it's really fun. But I'm also hoping to continue to write true and real reflections of motherhood--something I used to do a lot on Bloom and have gotten out of the habit of. AND. My big, fun blogging plan for 2012 is to do a Blue House Tour. Which will include both shots of my favorite little vignettes that I've worked on and shots of things like my disgusting side yard that looks trashier than you can imagine. I think we'll call it: "The Blue House Tour: Someone Real Lives Here." And. AND. If I can muster up the time, Taylor and I hope to post some on Feed Your Family this year. Because you wouldn't believe how many requests Taylor gets for his recipes. So keep pressuring us and we'll get on it.

So those are my crazy, overly analytical thoughts on blogging and some goals for 2012. I think it will be a good time. :)

Thanks for being my friend,

anne

School in the Philippines starts January 3rd (with our help)

2011-12-29T09:33:00.002-08:00

My husband's parents are on a mission in the Philippines and, since the recent typhoon, are working every day to dig people's lives out of the mud. This photo is from a local school--hit very hard. School is supposed to start on January 3rd, but the classrooms are feet high in mud, and all of their supplies are ruined. Our family has set up a fund for people to donate help. I know I wasn't as charity-minded this Christmas as I wanted to be, so I'm looking forward to contributing, and thought you might be too. Read more about the school and how to help HERE.

anne

Merry Christmas from the blue house!

2011-12-24T14:42:00.001-08:00

Neighbor gifts

2011-12-21T11:21:00.001-08:00

Honey (courtesy of beekeeper brother) + homemade rolls

Happy Hanukkah!

2011-12-20T19:37:00.001-08:00

We're enjoying some fiercely delish latkes as always.

Roger LOVES

2011-12-16T15:35:00.001-08:00

Gingerbread houses at Kindergarten

2011-12-14T15:56:00.001-08:00

'You can lick, Rog, but no biting!'

What would Christmas be without

2011-12-14T15:49:00.001-08:00

a little bit of kitsch?

Wouldn't be Christmas at the blue house without...

2011-12-13T12:13:00.003-08:00

A ramekin of mint m&ms in front of the toaster.

Blaine

2011-12-12T14:48:00.002-08:00

So my kindergartener just tested at a 3rd grade reading level. And if you ask him how he learned?
'I just taught myself.'

Awesome. No credit for my efforts!

Teething, Babies, and Talking to God

2011-12-10T22:54:00.003-08:00

Poor little Carts is teething an entire row of chompers. It has altered his eating habits, including a whole night and day this weekend in which I thought surely he was weaning himself like Blaine did. I was devastated. (Partly out of worry for his nourishment, since he refuses bottles and sippies and partly selfishly, because I just truly love nursing him.)

As I put him down in his crib last night, after he refused his bedtime milk, I leaned over until my face was near his and sang Away in a Manger. I thought about how much I love him and didn't want him to stop nursing and wished he wouldn't grow so fast. I thought how much I love all my sons and how I would love to have more babies. And then I thought how I talk to God every day about wanting a daughter. And I thought, 'I will really feel satisfied and content with sons.' And that feels really good.

Dec 6th

2011-12-07T11:02:00.002-08:00

Happy Birthday to my cute, thoughtful, generous, fun Mom. We celebrated with the best salad and pizza in town (kaleidoscope), plus I made jelly belly cupcakes. If you know my mother at all you know that's more than appropriate because she is a binge jelly belly eater.

Did you know that almost once a week my mom and I find a reason to go to the mall together? Our mall is totally small town and pathetic, but when my mom and I are pushing strollers through, hunting for bargains, and treating the kids at Cookie Connection, it feels alright to me.

XO
anne

What should I add to the list?

2011-12-03T08:16:00.002-08:00

These Days

2011-11-30T20:42:00.002-08:00

{Totally unrelated picture of my yoginis. Shucks that's cute every single time.}

I am decking the halls of the blue house and loving every second of it.

I am mustering up all the will power I have to be a more patient, softer speaking mother.

I am waiting for my new camera lens to arrive in the mail to make all my dreams come true.

I am feeling so relieved that I finished most of my holiday shopping in October.

I am obsessed with Brandon Flowers.

I am rilly rilly super in love with my husband of SEVEN years.

I am still eating meat although a bunch of my longest friends have totally vegged out!

I am putting the final touches on our advent boxes so our December can be amazing.

I am already worried about how hard it will be to wean Carter in 3 months (mostly physically. oh, how that hurts.)

I am loving the Lower Lights Christmas CD.

I am enriched and amazed and humbled every time I visit here.

I am working on a zillion home projects that I can't wait to show you (and I have extensive plans to do so).

I am conquering the daunting task of printing the last 3 years' worth of photos and am in love with Shutterfly.

I am praying for poor little Grandma Tillie to recover from her broken hip and subsequent hip replacement.

I am enjoying my children more. Which is something you can pray for if you need to, by the way. I'm not ashamed to admit that I needed to. And it works.

I am already engaged in my 2012 resolution which is to stay better connected with my beloved.

I am going to smooch my husband now, who just came home from a very long day.

Goodnight.

Oooooooh

2011-11-18T12:37:00.002-08:00

Thanks, Sis, for the idea to find a blogger app.

I have a list of things I want to share. For today: here's the Autumn triptic the boys and I made.

Loving fall and totally already listening to Christmas on pandora,
Anne

Dear world, I miss you. My laptop died. I'll be back soon. You'd think the iPhone would be more conducive to blogging but no luck. Love, me

2011-11-18T10:08:00.002-08:00

Happy Halloween from the Blue House!

2011-10-31T15:32:00.007-07:00

Time to get my beans and rice cooking, gather up the skeleton, cowboy, and monkey's costumes, dig out my purple wig, and ready the trick-or-treat basket (which I may or may not have snitched so much from last night that I made myself ill). I think after circling the neighborhood we better come back for some of Nana's pumpkin-chocolate-chip bread and Mexican hot chocolate...

Happy Halloween!

xo
anne

Back to School

2011-10-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sad it's taken me so long to record some of the special things we've been doing this fall. Ever since Em and I walked away from Bloom, I feel like I've had a lot more time and energy to focus on actually blooming as a mother and homemaker. More time to make and do quality things and memories for my children. More time to just be with them. But, though my home is cleaner, I am less stressed, and my children are happier, it's been hard to find the time to post about it all. It's true. I can't do it all. It is so freeing to admit that.

After our coast trip, we wanted to start the school year off with something special. I've always loved reading about Stephanie Nielson's Back to School Feast, so we decided to adopt it as a family tradition. (Living so near our extended families, it is really important to Taylor and me that we have some nuclear family traditions).

So, the Sunday before Kindergarten began, we held our First Annual Back to School Feast. Blaine kept saying, "It's my special day."

Taylor made us his ummmmazing Shepherd's pie (I keep begging him to blog about it!) and broccoli.

We had fancy dishes and goblets filled with bubbly.

(Love the red around his lips from the shepherd's pie!)

After dinner the boys hunted for letters that I had printed up (from here).
Blaine put the letters together to spell:
That's the theme for the year. Blaine is miles and miles ahead of where he used to be in terms of this, but it still needs attention.

After our little discussion on the theme for the year, Blaine got to open his presents.

We gave him a little alarm clock and a lap quilt I made him out of fabric he had begged and begged for at the fabric store once. It is garish and gaudy and dragon-tastic. Barf. But, for once, I decided to let him choose.
We finished up the celebration with a father's blessing.

I love this tradition, and I can't wait to have the whole table filled with children, off to conquer another year. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the idea of more children, but most often, I hope to be so lucky to have a whole gaggle to share this life and home with. (I'm not sure how many are in a gaggle, but you get the point.)

Classic first day photo:

Awesome.

Tights at Turquoise Roots

2011-10-26T11:00:00.001-07:00

We are at the height of Autumness around here. There is so much going on that I never feel like I have time to stop and tell you about it. But I really want to! I can't wait to show you pictures of my fall decorations, but I've been busy cleaning up after our caramel apples night. I am ecstatic to show you Roger's skeleton costume I made, but I'm trying to gather up all the other costumes and I'm helping with the church Halloween carnival tonight, and there's still a lot to do! So, while I finish Blaine's ninja costume and shake my polyester dress out of storage, I want you to know that...My darling friend, Deon, has added TIGHTS to her shop! I like to think I was in to colored tights before they were cool (cue eyerolls. Yes, Anne, you're so indie). They're one of the things that make winter fun and bearable. Deon's got tons of selection and the prices are amazing. See it all HERE.

Jared Carter pumpkin eater

2011-10-21T16:15:00.004-07:00

Shucks I love this little boy. Look at him on his first swing ride. Can you see his little teeth?! And here he is eating pureed pumpkin. I mean, heck, we cooked and pureed those pumpkins ourselves last fall, and now all is safely gathered in our little babe's belly. How's that for provident living? ;)

Helping

2011-10-17T11:51:00.003-07:00

Taylor and I made killer Eggplant Parmesan for dinner yesterday. Rog helped. That's the story of Rog. Every day Blaine goes to Kindergarten and Rog doesn't know what to do with himself. He refuses to play with toys, even if I offer to go up to the playroom with him. He just wants to help. He gets baby wipes and dusts the furniture (and everything else he can think of). He runs with a bowl out to the garden and picks tomatoes. He sprays 409 all over the kitchen floor and wipes it with a cloth. He chops celery with a butter knife for the soup I'm making. And on. And on.

It is precious. I love it.

Week at the coast

2011-10-04T11:41:00.005-07:00

We spent the first week of September up North.

Our schedule:
Monday--drive to Portland, swim in hotel pool
Tuesday--Oregon Zoo, Taylor take boys swimming while I shop frantically during final business hours of the day
Wednesday--Return almost everything I bought the night before (never shop with a deadline), drive to Newport, swim in hotel pool
Thursday--Newport Aquarium (definite highlight! amazing, amazing place--way better than the zoo!), beach, swim in hotel pool
Friday--Beach, tidepools, drive home

This was a great family trip. It was a little tough with Carter--there were times when it was just better for me to stay in the car or hotel room with a sleeping or nursing babe (rather than try to sit on sharp rocks at the tidepools with him!), but I was resigned to that. Taylor got to have tons of quality time with the boys. Plus I have an iphone. Hours of entertainment, reading, shopping, and instagram--which I put to good use on the trip:

Rog at the tidepools near Yachats.

Blaine with some of his ocean treasures

One of many meals out. Even with all the 'sights' we saw, some of my most tender memories of the trip are just these little moments eating fluffy pancakes together.

cutest image ever

in the shark tunnel. awesome!

The touching tide pools at the aquarium. We went back 3 times--probably spent half the day there! We're pretty much experts by now.

Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting

2011-09-19T10:28:00.002-07:00

I have about a million things I want to write about-- our trip to Portland and the Oregon coast, Blaine's Back to School Feast, my new entry way artwork, what it feels like to have a Kindergartener...

While I work on pulling those posts together, here's the recipe I promised. It's from Martha Stewart's Cupcakes (my favorite (of many) cupcake cookbooks).

Ingredients:
2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
1/8 tsp salt
6 oz cream cheese--room temp.
6 T (3/4 stick) butter--room temp.
9 oz bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled (I used semi-sweet choc chips)
3/4 cups sour cream

Directions:
Sift together powdered sugar, cocoa, and salt. With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat cream cheese and butter until pale and fluffy. Reduce speed to low. Gradually add sugar mixture; mix until combined. Mix in melted and cooled chocolate and then sour cream; scrape down sides of bowl and continue beating until smooth. (Makes 4 cups.)

Learning from my mother and the kind of home I want

2011-09-01T11:07:00.006-07:00

{Recent activity in my mother's home--making food animals with the boys (my mom is so cute) and
blackberry jam with Mom and Jessie}

Well gosh, thanks for your comments last time. It's good to know there's someone here. Like I said, it feels good just to journal here, but I have to say, it feels even better to feel like I'm connecting with people. As I anticipated, that's what I miss most about Bloom. Connecting with people and telling my story. So I'm glad I can still do that here. Thanks for your encouragement.

I've been thinking a lot about life and beauty and mothering and what matters. I told you last time I have given up a lot of design-y blogs because they make me want too much and distract me. That's not to say I don't care how my home looks or want to go shopping next weekend. It's all about balance I guess. And focus. I want my children to have a beautiful life but I don't want the materialism of it all to consume me. Does that make sense?

It's like this:
Yesterday I left the boys playing at my mom's house while I ran a couple of miles. As I was coming back up the hill to my parents' property, I smiled as I passed my mom's colorful flower mound at the front of their garden, took in the corn, the beans, the cantaloupe vines, the gourds, the pumpkins, the tomatoes, and more. My favorite curvy row in the garden is Mom's State Fair Zinnias--all sorts of huge, bold colors. I came in her house and looked around at her collection of dishes in her glass-front cabinet and the family pictures above her desk. As I gulped down a drink of water I looked at the jars of my brother's honey on the window ledge--light, dark, and darker. My favorite is the one with the honeycomb in it--pioneer honey.

My mother's home isn't extravagant, but it is beautiful. It has always been rich with color and comfort and home grown goodness. She likes to decorate, but it doesn't break the bank. Nor does it look like it was over-designed. (Nor has the teal 1988 furniture been replaced.) It looks like real people live there. There are always fresh flowers in the house--almost always from her yard. There is almost always a project going in the kitchen--mince meat pies, blackberry jam, chicken soup, oatmeal crunchies...

I love the home I grew up in. And that's what I'm trying to create for my children. A soft place to land. A place where beautiful and delicious things grow. A place that's tidy and happy and peaceful and fun. In my ideal world it would have a prettier light fixture in the dining area and hardwood floors in the living room, but I'm learning not to obsess over those things. (Hallelujah.)

loves,
anne

p.s. Sour cream chocolate frosting recipe? You got it, next time. Also, we've been enjoying every blackberry application there is--jam, pie, milkshakes, and cobbler. Ahhh...blackberries. I love thee, Oregon. Blackberry cobbler recipe HERE.

Hi...hello...are you out there?

2011-08-22T10:05:00.004-07:00

{We finally blessed Jared Carter. I really like the look on my face in this picture. It says, 'I love this boy and I am at peace being a mother.' 5 years ago I did not look like that.}

It's weird trying to adjust from Bloom back to this blog, where I feel like a stranger. The whole point of saying goodbye to Bloom was that I don't want to blog every day, so that is feeling like a relief, but the hard part is feeling so disconnected from people. Like, is any one out there?

I'm happy to just post on here like it's my journal, but sometimes I wonder what else to post. For example, yesterday I made really delicious chocolate frosting. It had sour cream in it, which made it nice and tangy. Should I post that recipe? Or would that be a waste of time?

One great thing I noticed in week one of no Bloom is that I spent far less time on the computer in general. Which is good because I am a little bit sick of most of the blog world I have participated in. It's all too much. Too much focus on stuff, too much time, too much wanting and wishing. And it all becomes so repetitive. It's mostly all the same stuff, over and over again. I'm kind of over it all right now. Not in a self-righteous sort of way. Just in a 'I don't want to feel dissatisfied with my own life' sort of way. Plus I just have too much to do. Like swimming with my kids. Plus you should see the upstairs toilet right now. Grrrrross.

Now that I'm not blogging about blooming I am hoping to have time for more actual blooming. I am planning a Nie-inspired back to school feast for Blaine, just purchased a pattern to make myself a new skirt, am training for the 5K that almost killed me last fall, have high hopes to recover my vomit-inducing living room chairs, and want to buy a piano. Plus this: I haven't printed a photograph since Roger was a baby (March 2008). Heaven help me that is going to be a long (but important!) project.

Time to go tackle my post-weekend mess.

xo
anne

p.s. seriously though, is anyone out there?

August

2011-08-15T11:31:00.003-07:00

Yesterday we enjoyed a perfect, quiet evening with my parents at the ranch. Homemade chili and biscuits, then some runnin' around...

As far as I'm concerned, blackberry season is the best time of the year.

A birth story

2011-03-08T16:35:00.005-08:00

Jared Carter Cropper

March 1, 2011
7 lbs. 13 oz.
21 inches

Here's the thing. I write really long birth stories. I like details for family history purposes. If you are still here by the end, then wow! You must really love me.

On Monday, February 28th I was 3 days overdue. I know a lot of women go 2 weeks overdue, so I won't bemoan being overdue too much. But. I felt useless. My round ligament was shot. I could hardly walk. I vowed to never make fun of waddling pregnant women again. I couldn't sleep at night. Whether I was up going to the bathroom or stirred awake by another bad dream of the baby falling out at home, I wasn't getting much rest. And I felt like I couldn't do very much for my boys. I'd decided to ask Dr. Binette to induce me on Tuesday morning.

At my appointment I was only 3 cm, but the baby very low. I told him I'd like to be induced. He told me the plan would be to come in at 6:30 a.m. and receive a cytotec tablet, which softens you for labor. He'd then break my water around 9 a.m. "You'll be done by noon," he declared. I knew it would be sooner. I'm really fast.

I spent Monday getting my ducks in a row. House tidied. Laundry done. Boys packed up for my mom's house. Rides arranged for B's preschool. (Thanks, Matt!) When Tay came home from work we took the boys to Mom and Dad's, got them going on carrot sticks and mac and cheese, sorted out car seats and instructions, and said goodnight. Then we went to Bonsai for sushi and tempura (we'd also been there the day the ultrasound confirmed he was a boy with a tearful Blaine!) to celebrate. While I blissfully ate my crunchy roll, Taylor looked up "March 1st" on his iphone, making sure it was a good date. (Taylor is really into having a meaningful birthday. His is Bastille Day. Blaine's is May Day. Rog's is "March Forth!") It turns out that March 1st is Wilford Woodruff's (fourth prophet of our church) birthday, which is fun. Also, March 1st 1803 Ohio became a state, which is significant to me because of my mission in Ohio but even more so because this baby was going to be named after Jared Carter, who had been a key member of our church in Kirtland, Ohio, in the 1830s. (More about his name later.) Before we went home we stopped by the hospital to check on Taylor's dad, Dean, who'd just had a knee replacement. He looked like he was in so much pain, I wanted to cry for him. I would give birth the next morning, just a few floors down.

Before bed Taylor helped me tidy toys and make sure everything was packed for the hospital. The last thing I had to do was take a shower and curl my hair. Yes, I am vain. But, come on, you know there are going to be a million pictures of you--you might as well be prepared! We finally went to sleep around 11 p.m.

I woke up with abdominal pain. I looked at my phone. 4:15 a.m. I thought about the fact that I ate my weight in tempura vegetables a few hours before and tried to go back to sleep. Six minutes later I was sitting up in bed checking my phone again. It wasn't the tempura. It was labor.

I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep so I got up and started getting ready to go to the hospital. I figured I was due there by 6:30 anyway, but maybe we'd have to check in early. Next comes Taylor's favorite part of the story to tell. I went back to the bedroom and woke him up a little. "Hey, Tay. It's 4:35 a.m. I just want you to know that I've been having some contractions. They're only about 6 minutes apart and they're not too painful." Groggy Taylor: "So what are you doing?" Me: "Oh I'm just doing my make up."

After my make up I put on my new Gilly Hicks sweatsuit (thanks, Bec!) and ate some cheerios upstairs while I watched Private Practice and part of Parenthood. (Good thing for DVR!) Taylor came up a little before 6. "Well, get ready," I said. "We need to leave for the hospital." {As it turned out, I was so grateful I'd chosen to be induced. Had I not planned on induction, I wouldn't have had my kids farmed out, etc. but would have gone into labor at 4:15 that morning and panicked about getting the kids taken care of, etc.}

At 6:11 on the way to the hospital I texted Brian, my anesthesiologist brother. "I think I'm going to need drogas soon. I've been in labor 2 hours. He wasn't going to break my water until 9 but I think the babe will be here by then."

When we walked in to the birth center I looked at the nurses at the desk. "I'm here to be induced. Except I'm already in labor. And I'm going home tonight." They all looked back at me incredulously. "Well," one of them said, "you have to have your doctor and pediatrician approve that." "I'm a cash payer," I said. "If I'm here one minute over 24 hours, I'll get charged for an extra day. Which is $10,000. I have to get home tonight!"

One of the nurses showed us to room 8, where I'd be delivering. I put on my gown, got out my West Elm catalog, and sat on the bed, waiting for the good doctor. In he came, wearing a bow tie as always, coffee cup in hand. He reviewed the time line we'd talked about the day before, and I looked Taylor like "yeah right." "I think you better check me before the cytotec," I said. "I've been having contractions since around 4. So he did. And he said, "Yep, you're in labor. You're at a 5. We're not going to do cytotec." Then he turned to the nurse and said, "Hand me that amnihook, please. We're just going to break her water now." Love it.

So he broke my water at about 6:55. Well that really got things going. My contractions really picked up--in pain, in length, in frequency. "You need to get my brother here," I said. I knew full well that I could be complete in a half hour, and if he didn't get there fast, I wouldn't be getting my epidural. Which I really wanted. The nurse--who was due to go home in just a few minutes--called down to the nurses' station. "Hi, I need some help in here. She's really in labor and I don't have anything ready. I need someone down here to prep an epidural tray and a baby bed and everything." If I hadn't been grimacing in pain I would have laughed out loud. It seems like no matter how many times you tell people "I deliver really fast," they never believe you. In came several of the nurses that we'd met at the door. "Wow," said the cute, short-blonde-haired one. "You really might get home tonight!" So the nurses scurried around prepping everything. One of them stabbed the heck out of me until the got the IV in right. Meanwhile I breathed through my contractions and started to feel a sense of panic. I knew I could start transition real quick. The doctor came in to see how I was doing. I started yelling. "Someone call my brother and tell him to get his booty in here!" Taylor loves to laugh at that part. He says, "Who were you talking to?!" Anyone who would listen!

Around 7:15 or 7:30 maybe Brian showed up in his blue scrubs. "I was in the shower when you sent your text," he said. "What's up with casually mentioning in a text message that you've been in labor for 2 hours and then taking your sweet time to get to the hospital?" I'm sure the nurses were getting a kick out of our sibling banter. We made sure to quote some Tommy Boy for them in between contractions: "Does this baby make me look fat?" "No, your face does." He told me to sit up and swing my legs over the bed so he could put in the epidural. "Now," Brian said, "Let's cover up everything humanly possible!" (Brian is hilarious when it comes to his sisters. Kind of like being grossed out when you realized that your parents have sex, Brian never wants to hear a word about a sister's period, watch her breastfeed, etc. He was relieved that the baby monitor strap I was wearing covered up my bum crack so he didn't have to see it while placing the epidural in my back!)

Now here is where I give some important advice to anyone who is actually still reading this and wants to have a medicated delivery. DO NOT LET A DOCTOR GIVE YOU TOO STRONG OF AN EPIDURAL. My first epidural was so intense that I may as well have not had any lower extremities. I couldn't lift my legs, couldn't push when it was time, couldn't feel anything from my ribs down. WORTHLESS. I told Brian, "I need it strong enough to take the extreme pain away, but I need to be able to feel the contractions enough and to control my muscles when it's time to push." So he did just that. A good anesthesiologist should know how to do that. It was ideal. I could feel when the contractions came but I was numb enough to feel calm and in control.

My epidural slowed my contractions back down quite a bit--back to 6 or 7 minutes apart. So the doctor gave me a little bit of pitocin to pick things back up again. Which it did. By about 8:30 I was complete and ready to push. And, thanks to my custom epidural, I could totally do it. It was new to me to push. With Blaine and Rog it was like 2 pushes and out they came. This time I pushed for about 20 minutes. I love that part because you know you're at the end and the baby is coming soon! I loved the soft nurse's voice in my left ear counting to 10 each time I pushed. I loved Taylor's hand on my right arm. By this point, I could feel pretty well. In fact, right at the end, as the baby was coming out, I actually screamed a little. I think my exact words were, "Taylor this hurts!" That was new for me, because I'd been so drugged before. But it was a good hurt because I wasn't dying but could feel everything my body was doing. {And now, a note about the good doctor: I didn't have the slightest tear because the entire time I was pushing he was massaging me. I am telling you, after the episiotomy I received giving birth to Blaine, I couldn't walk, sit, sneeze, laugh, or cough for about 3 weeks. It was torture. These last two doctors have been so much better. I am not exaggerating at all when I say I could have hopped on a bike the next day. It is that much better. Talk to your doctor from the very beginning about this. If he is old school and believes in episiotomy, kick him to the curb. Seriously though.}

I always close my eyes when I push, but with the last one Taylor said, "Open your eyes and look! There he is!" And there he was. (8:54 a.m.) Crying and darling. Dr. Binette put him on my chest and Taylor cut the umbilical chord (which surprised me, as he declined the first two times). The nurses rubbed him clean with a towel while I held him. He grabbed my finger. I just cried. I wish I could live in that moment again. The nurse was so darling. She kept saying, "You hold him there as long as you want. No pressure." But after a few minutes I handed him over so she could weigh him, etc. Then she gave him back, in just a diaper. She untied my gown and put him right on top of my chest. Skin to skin. It was marvelous.

The rest of the day was just loving up the babe and receiving visitors. Mary Anne, Taylor's mom, was the first to arrive. She'd been upstairs with her husband when Taylor sent out a picture text. She just started running through the hospital showing everyone the picture. When she got to the security guard at the birth center she held up her phone and said, "He's here! And he's my grandson! Please let me in to see him!" Brian came in to see him, also my dad. (It's cute to see your brother and dad both in OR scrubs at the hospital.) My mom came with Jill and little Rog, who was just as interested in the smoothie my mom brought me as he was in his baby brother! Blaine came later, after preschool. Cousin Katie came with Mary Anne later, too. Mary Anne had picked her up early from school and she almost died from the excitement of it all. We even picked up some visitors thanks to Dean's knee surgery. Chip and Laura came, as did Spencer, and later Nate with Uncle Eldon and Henry.

All of the nurses were fabulous. They took good care of me, but also left us alone! That felt nice--not to be bothered. Also. They really took me seriously about checking out that night. They had my discharge papers ready by noon, and did everything they could to get the pediatrician there and have everything in order for us to leave. I was immensely grateful for them. At 7 p.m. we said goodbye to the nurses that had been there for it all, and welcomed the new ones that would discharge us. Dr. Mary came to check out the babe. She was darling as always. After his PKU and Hep B were taken care of, we were free to go. We were out by 9 p.m. Nice.

A little bit about his name, Jared Carter (we call him Carter). Jared Carter was a mormon missionary who, with his brother, Simeon, taught the gospel to Taylor's ancestor, John Tanner. Jared Carter actually healed John Tanner's leg-- a very significant thing, as he was told he must amputate it if he wished to live, but he refused. John Tanner went on to become instrumental in funding the building of the Kirtland temple. This is all significant to us because it is family history, and also because of my time spent in Kirtland. There is actually a really nice movie (about 20 minutes) about this story, which you can see here.

Now we are just learning to add baby to our routine. The boys seem to be adjusting well (and they have had lots of play dates, sleepovers at cousins' and Nana's, thank you, thanks you!). And so far, although I'm tired, I feel like we can manage this. Carter is a really pleasant, mellow baby. So far he doesn't spit up, seems to have a pretty calm tummy, sleeps rather well at night, and is just generally happy. We are happy, too.

Christmas Eve and an evening at the salon

2011-02-16T10:39:00.005-08:00

It sickens me that I haven't posted anything since October. Looking through pictures this morning, I have to post a couple of random things...

For Christmas Eve we extended the traditional Cropper family Mexican dinner out and Talent Show/Nativity to include my family as well. We were so many people that we had to do the talent and Nativity portion to the church. It was a great event and I hope everyone loved it as much as I did.

Here Taylor and I are performing our talent: I sang Ingrid Michaelson's The Way I Am, accompanied by Taylor.

Blaine and Roger sang A Shepherd's Carol and Christmas Bells are Ringing. It was presh beyond belief.

Totally unrelated and almost two months later...

The other night I was reading with the boys upstairs. Rog went downstairs. Taylor was down there so I thought he'd see him. But Taylor didn't and thought he was still up with me. Anyway, we discovered him like this:

Naturally, all we could do was laugh our heads off and take a thousand pictures. And we had to buzz his gorgeous blonde hair, which absolutely kills me. He looked in the mirror after and said, "I look diffent." And when people ask him about his haircut he says, "It's growing."

Anyway, it looks like this baby is going to go full term. I haven't progressed much, which gives me time to get my sheets washed and house clean. :)

xo
anne

My Three Sons

2010-10-27T08:33:00.003-07:00

"Trick or Tomato!" The boys practice trick-or-treating in the tomato plants...

When I started revealing my pregnancy, everyone--of course--sent girlie wishes my way. It's no secret that I want a daughter (or two...). I want to put bows in her hair and dress her in homemade skirts and colorful tights and fake uggs. I want to sign her up for ballet class and make her room look cuter than anything in the Land of Nod catalog. I want to talk to her about boys and virtue and qualities to look for in a husband. I want to help her plan her wedding.

BUT. When I got pregnant, although I knew I had a 50/50 chance, I didn't allow much thought like that. One day I went through the bin of girl clothes I've collected and almost threw up out of hope mixed with possible disappointment, so I put it back in the closet and didn't look back. I told everyone I would love to have a girl, but was planning for a boy. And I really was. I pretty much constantly had in my head it was a boy.

So when the good doctor pointed out his goods during the ultrasound, I looked at Taylor and said, "I told ya."

Poor Blaine, also present for the ultrasound, sobbed uncontrollably and still argues that it's a girl. Poor little guy really wants a sister.

But I didn't cry. I just couldn't. What is there to cry about? I am having a baby. And so far the baby looks really healthy. Both of those facts are totally miraculous. After having restrictive health problems for a year, I feel so blessed to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy, that I just couldn't be happier. Sincerely. I told God I'm not going to ask him for a girl. He knows my heart, and if I'm supposed to raise daughters he'll send them my way. But as long as I have friends struggling with infertility and miscarriages and babies born with disabilities and best friends dying of cancer, I just can't pray for a daughter. I'm blessed as it is and I have too many other important things to pray for.

Now, don't get me wrong. I cried when I found out Roger was a boy. I'm not some perfect person. If you've had multiple sons and cried about it, I don't think you're silly. I think I had one night after this ultrasound, in fact, in which I cried to Taylor about crib bedding because 'I just really wanted to decorate a girlie nursery...' It's just that there are so many people in my life right now that are really going through tragic things, that I can't be sad about a baby, and a healthy one at that.

And that's that. I don't mean to sound self-righteous or anything like that. It's perfectly normal to feel disappointed when things don't go how you dream they'll go. And, I'm sure, if I ever have an ultrasound tech show me a girl on the screen, I'll want to shout it from the rooftops. But right now I just feel really grateful to be having another baby. And here's the other thing--I really love little boys. Blaine and Rog wrestle and snuggle and chase (and hit and fight...) and play and play together. When one wakes up earlier than the other, he begs to wake up brother. When Blaine goes to preschool, Rog is a lost little soul. They are presh, and I can't wait to see them with a new little babe.

Argh...

2010-10-19T11:02:00.004-07:00

It's so frustrating to be so behind in journaling. Partly there has been a LOT going on. And partly that lot is kind of going to be hard emotionally to recap, so I think I've been subconciously avoiding.

For today, while Blaine is at school for one more hour and Rog is sitting by me playing with his watermelon gum, I'll take a minute to show you some cute pics and make a list that will hopefully motivate me to recap soon.

1. What happens when Rog helps me bring the groceries in. Randomness strewn across the entry, celery out... Usually he ends up sitting down and opening up the strawberries and munching them while I finish. I love how excited Rog gets to help me do chores like this and his 2 1/2 year old way of executing them.

2 and 3. A Saturday evening I found charming. Indian Summer weather. Taylor pulled all of our tomato plants out and then sorted through what was still good and what rotted while we were out of town. I cut dahlias and the boys helped in their own special ways (i.e. Rog sorted through green tomatoes and Blaine rode his trike). I love growing things and I love that we do it all together.

4. Rog, asleep at Grandma Tillie's. Presh little soul.

And now a list of things I need to write about:

*My thoughts on having three sons.

*Our trip to Utah

*My trip to Ohio

to all three of you who still check this blog-- I love you. :)

quotables

2010-08-31T11:16:00.004-07:00

So here are some of our latest hilarious quotables, along with totally unrelated but cute pictures.

Taylor, upon discovering one of Rog's awesome messes (can't remember if it was food spilled, marker on the table, or toys dumped out...): "Rog, why did you make such a mess?!"

Rog: "'Cause I yike to!"

Blaine and Rog are both obsessed with stuffed animals. When I check on them before I go to bed at night, it's hard to find them in their beds because all of their plush friends are covering them. My favorite thing about this is that there are multiples of certain species and Blaine has come up with a way to distinguish between them. For example, we have Monkey and Monkey the Younger and Elephant and Elephant the Younger. Awesome.About a week ago Blaine appeared in our bed in the middle of the night. As always, he scooted close to me, and started to take my pillow. I lifted my head up, whined about my headache and how I couldn't sleep because Blaine was in my spot to a comatose Taylor, and flopped back down on my belly in desperation. Blaine, still mostly awake, quietly reached his arm up and proceeded to scratch my back for five minutes. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever. Warmed my heart and put me right to sleep.

Another morning, when I was complaining to Blaine that I was still tired he handed me his best friend, Monkey, and said, "Here Mom. Monkey always helps me sleep."
The other day in the car Blaine announced he is going to be an astronaut when he grows up. Taylor explained that he will have to learn a lot of math and go to a lot of school to be an astronaut. "Oh, I know a lot of math!" Blaine assured us. "Watch this! 1,2,3,4..." And on he went. So Taylor tried to stump him with story problems. "Blaine. Let's say there are 8 cookies and we have to share them with everyone in our family--me, Mom, you, and Rog. How many cookies can we each have?" Without a breath, Blaine shouts out, "2!" OK Blaine, to NASA you go!

A few days ago Blaine asked me the opposite of the word 'include.' I told him that it is 'exclude' and he wondered why it isn't 'unclude.' Anyway, I didn't know if he even understood, but then Saturday I asked Blaine to pick up all of the snuffed animals before he could paint. He came down the stairs announcing, "Mom, I cleaned up all of the animals, excluding Rog's monkey."

Maui Re-cap

2010-08-22T16:08:00.004-07:00

I'm trying to sort out my busy life. Here's my first attempt at journaling in months.

Hawaii was, needless to say, amazing. I was totally not excited about going--probably just anxiousness/guilt about leaving the boys. But as soon as the plane landed my attitude changed! We spent the week in Wailea, the southern part of Maui. Taylor had to work a bit for a few days, but we still managed to fit in a lot of snorkeling, swimming with sea turtles, lying on the beach, reading, getting massages in oceanside cabanas (!), eating eating eating, and enjoying the feeling of just us. It was heaven.

Things I'm missing most: the smell of plumeria everywhere, sleeping in and eating breakfast in bed every day, and swimming together at Big Beach.

2010-07-20T22:59:00.002-07:00

Taylor and I are home from Maui and I'm working on uploading pictures to show you. In the mean time, have you seen the new Old Spice campaign? Taylor and I can't stop watching this commercial. It is hilarious and oh, by the way, it was shot in one take with almost no computer animation. Amazing. Love it.

How can you get mad at that face?

2010-07-09T13:32:00.005-07:00

After screaming and crying for chocolate chips, and being denied, Rog managed to pull the freezer door open himself. He quickly dragged a barstool over, climbed up, pulled the bag of open chocolate chips off the top shelf of the freezer, and dug in.

And then proceeded to say,

"Did it myseff! Is dat cool, Mom?"

ever-quotable Blaine

2010-07-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

"Mom, do you see that human over there at the park? I want to be friends with him."

and

B: Mom, does blood float?

Mom: Um, I don't know, honey.

B: I guess I should ask Jesus. Or Grandma Tillie. She's the oldest person I know.

The Wedding Cake

2010-07-08T11:55:00.004-07:00

I've told so many people about the wedding cake Taylor made for Ian and Ashleigh's wedding, and everyone wants to see a picture. Here it is!
I have to say, I've never been more impressed with one of Taylor's cakes. And that's saying a lot. This was an enormous undertaking, and I now completely understand why cakes of this magnitude cost $600-$1000. And not only did it look beautiful, but it was so delicious, too (not always the case with wedding cakes, you know?). The bottom and top layers were a homemade yellow cake with raspberry filling and vanilla bean buttercream. YUM. The middle two layers were homemade chocolate cake with a ganache filling and orange chocolate buttercream. Double YUM.
Just to give you an idea of the size of this thing, here Taylor is shaping one of the cakes for the bottom tier. This cake is 16 inches in diameter. Seriously, the pan looks like a sled! Each layer (except the top) was made of three cakes, each cut in half. In other words, each tier was 6 layers. The top was just two cakes (otherwise it was going to look like Abe Lincoln's hat), so just 4 layers. For a grand total of 22 layers!
What I wish I had more pictures of:
1. The process--Taylor's cake blueprints, the dozens and dozens of eggs, the jillion pounds of butter, Taylor carving and shaping, and frosting, and molding. Unbelievable.
2. Me freaking out when Taylor put the cake in our trunk to drive to the wedding.
3. Getting to a road closure and me insisting that Taylor ask the cops to move the barricade so we could get through. (As that was a no-go, we moved the cake from our trunk to Taylor's lap. he sat in Tanner's van with it on his lap as Melissa drove him up the steepest hill imaginable.)
4. Taylor and Tanner in their handsome black suits, carrying the 55 pounder in to the wedding venue in amazing Lithia Park.
5. The long line of wedding guests waiting to sink their teeth into a slice of cake.

It was a stressful process. I developed in ulcer just watching. Taylor, as always, remained totally calm. He's amazing.

just so much

2010-06-11T09:32:00.004-07:00

There's just so much to write about. I've yet to post about my fabulous Valentine's Party or Blaine's 4th birthday. I have zillions of great pics from Ian's wedding on Saturday, plus my rad birthday. Not to mention my review of Glee: Season 2 (It's more mixed than you might think.) But I still have an open house to help with this weekend, and a lot of other things going on. So, lest you think I've fallen off the planet once again, I leave you with Blaine's top quotes of the week:

Mom, there's two kinds of p's! One that is potty talk and one that's a letter!

and

Mom, how do you say indigo in Chinese?

Tall, fashion-concious snowmen

2010-05-17T22:39:00.002-07:00

Here's something cute. Tonight was Family Night. As usual, we started with the Snowman Song. Right before we started, Blaine yelled, "Wait! I have an idea!" He then disappeared into our room for a while and re-entered wearing my orange Michael Kors wedges. "Now I can be the tallest snowman!" he declared. At which point Rog ran into our room, reappearing with my polka-dotted flats. Didn't quite get the idea, but dang what a doll. Here they are--tall, tall, tall.
It was pretty much the cutest thing ever.

And here they are, being small, small, small. Classic.

What the April?

2010-05-05T10:00:00.001-07:00

April was busy and good.

EASTER

Egg dying, baskets, Make Way for Ducklings, General Conference, grape juice, asparagus, saving plenty of plastic eggs for little brother...

PEAR BLOSSOM RACES

Deliriously silly and dramatic at 7 a.m.

Taylor looks like the J Crew model I cut out of catalogs in high school.

Running to Christina's music because my ipod wasn't charged and I threw a fit about running without music. Good thing for Beyonce's Survivor. "I'm not gon' give up either, Beyonce!"

Opting for the 5K this year=good decision

The real runners--Taylor, Christina, Brian, and Steven--ran the 10 mile.

Rog's grin=cheesier than the nips

JAIME'S WEDDING

the hostess apron I made for her shower gift--maybe my favorite yet

the beaming bride, at the beach bonfire the night before

Jaime worked the vintage glam look. Totally gorgeous. Don't mind the ginormous scaffolding (for cleaning) on the beautiful San Diego temple.

groomsmen in vans

bridesmaids in handmade-by-Jaime feather hair pieces

A few shots of the reception--on the beach in Del Mar

getting ready to catch Danny for a pic

VISIT WITH ANDY AND LISA

Plenty of Taylor's obsession (pinkberry), holding that darling baby Gretta, shopping at the Grove (LA) and the Promenade (Santa Monica), and chatting it up. Heavenly.

Farmers Market (eat Brazilian, shop, eat Japanese, shop, eat donut, shop=greatest day ever!)

Santa Monica Pier

In other April news... Taylor saved us from a house fire (you probably saw that on Bloom), my health is improving, it rained all month long, we are preparing for my b-i-l, Ian's wedding, Glee is back on (though I think they're taking teenage sexuality too far), Seth Aaron won Project Runway (hallelujah!), and my sister, Liz, moved to Santiago, Chile.

Officially ready for sunshine,

Anne

Writing it down

2010-03-25T12:00:00.003-07:00

This is a post about my boys. First of all, how cute is this pic? We ground wheat on Monday to make calzone dough. Do you have a wheat grinder? Does it sound like a jet? Ours does.

We are in the phase of life in which everything Blaine and Roger say is so dang cute and funny that I can't write it all down fast enough. (We are also in the phase of life in which at least once a week I am so exhausted of breaking up fights and dealing with whining and sassing that I'm ready to throw in the towel. Just to be clear.)(Um, sorry for the tangent, but how impressive is this tower? Completely perfect color and shape patterns--I did not help AT ALL. This was completely Blaine's creation. It blew my mind.)

So anyway, today you get a smattering of quotables.

At the grocery store with my boys (who are unbelievably good at the store--please never let me forget that)...

Blaine: "Ooh, Mom! Can we please get some of those things that look like palm trees?!" (artichokes)

and

"Mom! I've never had one of those purple things before!"

"That's an eggplant. Would you like to get an eggplant?"

"Yes! I have to try new things!"

and

"Mom are you going to eat some of my kiwis?"

"Oh, maybe. I'm not a huge fan of kiwi."

"But Mom! You have to try new things!"

(thanks, Green Eggs and Ham!)

One of my favorite Blaine-isms is that he got the notion of 'google' being a very large number from his cousins. Of course his cousin, Mary, calls it 'goo goo' and Blaine calls it 'goo goo goggles' (think Dr. Seuss's ABC book!)

So it goes something like this:
"Mom, can I have some chocolate chips?"

"Just one."

"But I need goo goo goggles chocolate chips!"

But, with Blaine there is one over-arching, end all, defining thing in his life right now.
HE IS A T-REX.

No, seriously. He stomps everywhere. He has claws. Sometimes he makes himself a tail. He gets furious when I won't paint him black (like the T-Rex on Fantasia--the movie that started this obsession).

He told me recently that when he's older he'll be a real T-Rex and then he's moving away to Fantasia with Mary Cropper (his favorite human). And she's the only one who's coming because 'I only like Mary.'

I asked, "But I will be so lonely without you."

His quick reply: "You can watch movies, Mom."
Then there's Rog. Yes, he really fell asleep in the middle of calzone dinner.

This boy has dozens of new words and phrases each week, and the way he talks is endearing to no end.

My favorite game we play usually starts when I'm changing his diaper:

Me: you're a stinky boy!
Rog: no you a tinkaboy!

and then I start taking some liberties like...

Me: you're beautiful!
Rog: no you booful!

Me: you're awesome!
Rog: no you om!

It's pretty fun.

I like my boys.
A lot.

Two

2010-03-18T09:05:00.005-07:00

We had to postpone celebrating Rog's birthday, since we still had the sickies at the blue house on his real one. As fate would have it, the day we had his cupcakes scheduled for was his worst day on record. He was up at 5 a.m. screaming at me, unsatisfied by any of my offerings. He wouldn't sit through more than 30 seconds of church, so I spent an hour circling the building with him. He was irrational and sassy and TWO all day.

Thankfully, he and I got some sleep in the late afternoon, so we were both rational enough to celebrate his existence. Because darn, it's a really darling existence.

While Rog and I napped, Taylor the cake master (honestly, I keep trying to tell him to go into business) was at work.

(Actually, really simple stuff. Flat frosting tip for body, tootsie roll feet and nose, starburst face with mike-n-ike eyes.)

I know that was a lot of nearly identical pictures, but I am so enamored by my three handsome boys that I couldn't help myself.

Of course Blaine threw a huge fit that he didn't get the cupcake with the face on it.
"Show me how the piggies eat, Rog!" (He did this totally of his own accord. Funny boy.)

monday (with a post-edit)

2010-03-15T17:55:00.004-07:00

I had another health setback yesterday.

Today I shuffled around the house in my hideous gray sweats and turquoise waffle shirt, sans bra. I let the house stay messy and thought a lot.

I read the perfect article for me today. It was all about life's trials. After reading it, I thought a lot about my attitude for the past 7 months. I don't think I've been 'Why me?' about my health, but I have definitely felt like 'it's a righteous desire to want to be healthy. when will i be?'

A little impatient, perhaps.

Today I am want to say,

Dear God,

Thank you for my life. I am mostly healthy and today I have no pain. I have sunshine and daffodils. I have two little boys in blue jammies digging in the dirt and eating yogurt on the front porch and giggling and chasing each other and exuding love and life. I have my husband home again. Falling asleep with his arms around me again is the best feeling in the whole world. I will be grateful for what I have and trust in your timing for me and my family.

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

--Orson F. Whitney

*post-edit: Taylor says I have to stop being so cryptic about my health problems so everyone doesn't think I'm dying. I have something wrong with my urinary tract and no one can figure it out. It's sometimes painful, mostly frustrating.

Oscars and more

2010-03-09T14:41:00.002-08:00

OK so how pretty is Sandra Bullock anyway? Loved her dress, especially loved her hair and makeup. I was so inspired that I am wearing pink lipstick today instead of my usual savex lip balm. Lots of great dresses this year. But. Honestly, I was so bored. None of the performances were especially exciting, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were good, and Ben Stiller dressed as an avatar was pretty hilarious, but overall, bor-ing.

Still, I am obsessed with the red carpet. And being famous. As in, I really wish I were on the red carpet Sunday night.

Anyway, I was super excited this:
Meryl Streep was wearing a gown by Chris March.
Yes. Chris March of Project Runway season 4.
Here's the gown (she also wore Chris March to the Golden Globes):

Here's Chris, in case you don't remember him. He is hilarious. He came in 4th place that year (actually, Taylor and I are watching this season on DVD and it's totally-in Christian Siriano's words-FIERCE). Aren't you just so proud of him that Meryl's wearing his work?! Love it.
And, on an unrelated topic:
After reading Breaking Dawn in 2 days while we were sick, I am a little bit excited for Eclipse to come out. In fact, I'll be seeing Remember Me this Friday, partly because I am so excited to see the Eclipse trailer. (Look, Joan, I'm slowly coming out of the closet about how much I like Twilight!) So, Robbert Pattinson has been on the brain. (I'm too lazy to link to all that stuff. If you don't know what I'm talking about, google!)

Then, the other day in my car, Nickel Creek popped up on my ipod. As I listened to Chris Thile sing I realized something. He and Robbert P are total twinners. No wonder I like Robbert so much (Chris Thile was the object of my obsession through much of college).
See for yourself:
Chris
Robbert
So fun.
And while he will never reach Chris Thile status, Robbert is quite a musician himself.

OK well now I have to go get Rog to stop crying. He is such a grump lately.

loves

March, sickness, vampires, gratitude

2010-03-02T11:16:00.004-08:00

Holy smokes. Hello, March. Mmm. March. I love you.

Don't be too fooled by the above pictures. Only yesterday did I finally get enough energy back to take down valentine's and put up my green.

We have been sick. Rog and me. For three days we sprawled out upstairs doing nothing but watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (boys), reading about vampires (me), barfing, changing diapers, washing pukey clothes and blankets, and sharing cups of 7-up and Powerade. (Taylor was in Park City, UT, on business.)

On Sunday morning I called my mom and asked for a pep-talk. "I'm so tired. I was up in the night helping Roger throw up in his sleep and then Blaine was up super early. I can't stomach anything. I have no energy. I feel like a train wreck. What do I do?"

After watching her other local grandchildren, picking up an elderly man for church, teaching Sunday School, and fixing dinner for my dad, she swooped in to the blue house. She cleaned up all the play doh. She swept my kitchen floor. She did all the dishes. And then? She got on her hands and knees to wipe down my entire kitchen floor. I kid you not. Then it was upstairs. She cleaned up all the toys and helped the boys do puzzles and read stories while I lay (lie?) (layed?) (lied?) on the floor trying not to vomit. Then she took Blaine (my unbelievably hearty child who never catches these darn bugs) home for a movie, ice cream, and a sleepover. Angel mother, I know.

Saddest news of all. Now my mom has it. Where is the justice in that? So sad. I love you, Mom. I'm really sorry you got it.

Now here are some things I have to say.

1. I was pretty devastated to wake up sick on Saturday morning and find that Rog had thrown up in his bed overnight. So sad. I couldn't believe I was all alone and sick. How could I take care of a sick babe? But, even though Tay was gone, I was so not alone. Mary Anne dropped off powerade. Jessie took care of all my church youth responsibilities. Em held down the fort at Bloom. Melis called or texted me every day. "What do you need? What can I bring over?" Meds, movies, soup, popcicles. Melanie sent over 7-up, soup, juice. Charles and Tanner came to administer a priesthood blessing. Even though I wished for healthier times, I could not not feel love and gratitude through every minute of the experience.

2. I was also grateful that my boys were happy to watch Mickey all day. Because I sincerely couldn't.do.anything. And so I read Breaking Dawn, all 750 pages of it. It was the perfect escape. I get kind of embarrassed to admit that I like those books, because they sound so silly when you're trying to explain the plot to someone. "...And then she is torn between her love for the vampire and the werewolf, but she wants to become a vampire, and..." See? Silly. But it made my weekend bearable. So, thanks Stephenie M.

3. The best news of all is that Taylor is en route as I write this. For home. And he makes Edward Cullen look like chopped liver.

4. Cutest/saddest image of the weekend:

the swirling thoughts in my head

2010-02-11T11:23:00.006-08:00

(before the haircut. that chair is sickening. i love that blaine is obsessed with Berenstain Bears. how could i be so ungrateful?)

It is 11:23 and I'm still in my green sweats and gray hoodie. I have my fuggs on, too, because I had to go outside to take some photos of our new camelias. But I should take them off because I don't have socks on. And, in case you didn't know, stinky feet are a problem of mine. Gross.

I'm thrilled to watch my boys play together. Of course every few minutes I have to run upstairs because someone is screaming about something. But then they go back to working together on legos or putting all of the wooden animals in the mini-ark and I love it.

I need to spend tomorrow cleaning. Really cleaning. I am getting ready for cupcake party 2010 on Saturday (are you coming? didn't get a fancy invitation? that's 'cause i don't send them out. this is your fancy invitation.).

A couple days ago I was having some major internal struggles. Not feeling satisfied with my life, craving more excitement. Then I prayed and I realized that I was being completely ungrateful. I felt ashamed. I told the Lord I was sorry for my ingratitude and started loving my life again. Prayer works. Amen.

I got really blunt bangs last weekend. I'm still working on styling them. My mom says, 'whatever you like.' Taylor says, 'whatever you like.' You know what that means. ;)

Yesterday I helped Emily design her living room. I gotta say, I think all the HGTV and Better Homes and Gardens is paying off, because I think it was a major success. Very cozy layout. High five, Em!

Yesterday was spent muchly in preparation for a big etiquette dinner with the youth in our church. They all looked so darling in their 'dressy casual.' Taylor and I are chaperoning a dance for our valentine's date, and you know what? We love it.

I have finally started making my bed every day. Whoa. It really does make a difference--I am converted.

OK. I have a pennant banner to sew and I need to go for a run. I'll probably watch an old episode of Glee while I run. As always. (Do you think I could guest star on Glee? Maybe?)

happy thursday.
xo

Update: Rog

2010-02-08T18:30:00.006-08:00

I've had a few requests for some babe updates. I was upset with myself when I looked through my files and had hardly any photos of the boys from the past month or so. I promise to do better!

Today you get the Rog update.

Rog is definitely almost two. He is perfecting his blood curdling scream. You never know if he is frustrated with the tower he's building, mad at his brother for stealing a lego, or having his toes bitten off my wolves. Seriously. He screams the same level of murder for everything. It's pretty awesome.

He is also perfecting the tantrum. He is impressively fast at throwing his body down on the floor. For the vertical version, he stomps one foot over and over. Honestly, it's hilarious and darling. We can't stop laughing when he does it, which, of course, infuriates him even more!

His vocabulary is ever growing and his voice darling. Though he's a bit tantrumy (see above) and still a pill about going to sleep, his face still melts me, and now his voice does too.

I think he may have some OCD! He becomes totally obsessed with things. Current obsessions:

1. gum (he searches my purse and the cupboards shouting 'gummy! gummy!')

2. Perfection (that awesome shapes game from my childhood. he is outstanding at it, and he begs for me to get it from the closet constantly)

3. Baby Dean (his one-year-old cousin. it is unbelievably cute to watch them interact.)

4. Birthday cake (he wants to blow out candles every 3 seconds. it's hilarious/drives me insane. 'cannels, mom! cannels! boh (blow)! cannels! birt-day keek! cannels! then he starts singing the song... we humor him often, as in the photo above--a candle in his tortellini soup ;)

The bottom line is this. Roger isn't a baby anymore! It's a little bit devastating. The other day he fell asleep in the car. When we arrived home I pulled him out and let him sleep for an hour on my chest. Holding a sleeping babe made me so happy. It had been too long.

p.s. for some reason, whenever I'm going to post something on Tuesday, I still feel the need to discuss some pop culture. So, let me say this. We saw Avatar in 3-D this weekend. And WHOA. This is me, bowing down to James Cameron. I'm not a huge movie-in-the-theater person. The cost usually motivates me to wait until a movie comes to Redbox. But sincerely, this movie is all (more?) it's cracked up to be. And seeing it in 3-D on the big screen was INCREDIBLE. If you see one movie in the theater this year, make it this one. Beautiful, inspiring, thought-provoking, completely original. Loved it, loved it.

I love Project Runway

2010-02-02T01:36:00.005-08:00

Sometimes inspiration hits. Like when I was thinking about a 'modesty' fashion show for a young women activity. Suddenly, lightening struck my brain and I came up with our own version of 'Project Runway.'

The girls split up into teams and had to design a modest formal.

We even had Mood Designer Fabrics. (The fabric: plastic tablecloths, crepe paper streamers, and napkins. Awesome.)

Come on, we even had a Macy's Accessory Wall! (I am still crushed that all the girls went for Jessies' shoes instead of mine. OK, Jessie has way cooler shoes than I do.)

After construction, we walked the runway. Yes, that is me in my pink, black, and yellow get-up. I got zero votes from the young men. ZERO! Crushed, again.

For any of you yw workers out there, this was a total blast. I highly recommend it.

And p.s. I love Project Runway. I love that Taylor loves watching it with me. We only wish we had watched the season with Christian Siriano! And last season Carol Hannah totally should have won instead of Irena, who is a totally rude, nasty person. And finally, I love Heidi Klum. Did you know that she has 4 children under the age of 6 and that she and Seal are darling?! Love her, love her.

getting personal

2010-01-31T22:09:00.004-08:00

It makes me so sad to think that I used to attend to this blog every day.

Now I feel like I owe some sort of giant update, but I don't have the mental energy for that.

I'm going to try to get back to it, because it's really the only form of journaling I am good at keeping up with anymore, and it breaks my heart to think of the last few months of my children's life ill-recorded.

I think it's partly because of my focus on Bloom, and partly because life is really busy lately. (Like was today a day of rest? Not so much. Sundays aren't what they used to be!) But also because a lot of my life for the last few months has been dealing with certain things that I haven't felt like blogging about. Not because I am a super private person. But because I haven't felt like people want to read super personal stuff about me. But then I remembered that this is a blog, which is basically an open diary, so if I get too personal for you, feel free to roll your eyes and click away.

Like I said, part of it is just busyness. Did you know, for example, that I am planning my annual V-day cupcake party? Want to come? Let me know and I'll give you the deets. And did you know that last week I was a mother of 6 while my bro and his wife were out of town? The photo above is a Saturday morning at Donut Country (2nd best donuts in Southern Oregon, 1st prize going to Puck's, of course) after I ordered all the kids around like a drill sergeant, making them clean the whole house. (Lizzy: "My mom never makes us clean the house." I am sure, Lizzy.)

And the other part is that I have some weird health issues going on. And all I really want to be happening in my body is growing a baby, but that just can't happen right now. So I've been going a little crazy for the last 5 months while we try to figure it out. And for some reason that whole thing has caused me to feel a little closed off and like I didn't want to write much for a while. But I miss writing about our family and our life. Because even though it isn't perfect right now, it's still really good, and whose life is perfect, anyway? And I don't want you to worry about me or feel sorry for me. There are way too many heart-wrenching things going on in the world right now for you to worry about me.

Anyway, at this moment I have way more respect for my friends who are brave enough to blog about things like cancer and infertility (neither of which am I dealing with). So anyway, to all 7 of you who still bother to check this blog, thanks for letting me talk.

Conan says

2010-01-23T15:46:00.002-08:00

I haven't even followed this whole NBC thing much, but I saw a clip of Conan's last show and was incredibly impressed with his class and sincerity. This part particularly inspired:

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

amen, Conan, amen.

Don't Go Wasting Your Emotion...

2010-01-19T15:22:00.005-08:00

In case I haven't been clear about this, I am obsessed with musicals. That's why GLEE, in my humble opinion, is the greatest show ever. EVER.

This Christmas Eve, Taylor and I decided to step it up a notch with our offering for the annual post-Mexican fiesta talent show.

We went out on a major limb. So major that I was sweating profusely by the time we were up.

The truth is, I want to be Lea Michele (of Glee). Or Amanda Seyfried (Mama Mia) would do. When I watch stuff like that, my heart wants to explode. It's not enough to watch; I sit there and dream about how exhilarating it would be to be on stage or in one of those shows, performing my guts out.

The major bummer is that I am totally not them. (i.e. in the talent/ability category.)

But I decided it's time to step it up in the risk and excitement department. So Taylor and I channeled our inner Glee for the talent show.

We performed 'Lay All Your Love On Me' (a la Abba/Mama Mia) for the whole fam damily.

As it turns out, Taylor was Prince Charming in his high school's rendition of Cinderella back in the day, so he is cool as a cucumber on stage. I was a nervous wreck and had to make him start all over again when I flubbed my lines the first time through.

It was a little rough, even the second time. But it was beyond fun!

You know how much I love my children and my quiet little life, but let's be honest, sometimes I just really crave excitement. You know, the kind of excitement I used to feel when dancing on stage or warming up for a volleyball match (those who know me well will understand that warming up before the match was the majority of my time on the court...)

And while I don't see 'Glee Cast' or Broadway in my future, I'm doing what I can.

And p.s. it's really fun to sing a lovey song like that on stage with your handsome husband.

**video coming soon!!!

A little bit about Sunday

2010-01-11T10:14:00.003-08:00

I made Taylor take this picture with me after we chaperoned a youth dance at our church on New Year's Eve. Nothing like ringing in the new year with four hours of watching teenagers stand around while the All American Rejects are playing. (Actually, it was quite fun. I, of course, got my dance on with all the girls and loved it tremendously.) Chaperoning the dance was my duty, as the president of our Young Women's organization. Taylor obliged. (What choice did he have?)

Then, yesterday, Taylor was called as the president of our Young Men's organization. So, now it's his duty, too.

After a busy day of church meetings, we pulled off a Chicken and Stove-top coup. First dinner and birthday cake (my brother, Brian's) at my family's house. Then, dinner and birthday cupcakes (baby Dean's) at Taylor's family's.

Taylor spent half of Saturday building Brian's cake. Brian is an anesthesiologist.
Slice of epidural, anyone?

Me: Still Alive. My Computer: Dead.

2010-01-06T01:04:00.004-08:00

That's right, I'm a lap-top killer.

Lesson you can learn from this? Don't blog in bed.

I smothered my fan with my down comforter and overheated that poor little sucker.

So now I've got a new computer, and don't think for a second that I'm allowed to take it anywhere cozy.

I have affinity (I am not stupid. This is my Napoleon Dynamitish way of saying 'a lot.') and one things to tell you and pictures (and videos!) to share.

So stay tuned. I am so back.

peace,
anne

Charity Auction at BLOOM

2009-12-09T14:36:00.002-08:00

Friends!

Looking for a way to provide service this holiday season? Here is a great opportunity. Starting Thursday, December 10th, there will be a charity auction at BLOOM to benefit Claire and Benson Skinner.

As explained by their parents, "Benson and Claire were born with a rare genetic disease in which their liver produces too much oxalate--called primary hyperoxaluria. Claire's condition has progressed much faster than Benson's. She has been on dialysis since she was 3 months old and is on dialysis 3 hours a day, 6 days a week. She is now on the waiting list to receive a combined kidney / liver transplant. It is expected Benson will eventually need similar transplants."

You can read more about the Skinners' experience HERE.

All proceeds from the auction at BLOOM will go directly to Claire's COTA (Children's Organ Transplant Association) account to help pay for her transplant. Please head over to BLOOM Thursday-Saturday for the auction!

Thank you!
xo
anne

Happy Turkeyversary

2009-11-25T21:18:00.003-08:00

Taylor took the day off work today so we could celebrate our anniversary doing something other than eating turkey with 30 other people. (Which is what we'll be happily doing on our real anniversary.)

We had Indian for lunch. Oh my curry, I love Indian. We ran errands. (It doesn't sound glam, but c'mon, do you think there is anything more fun that wandering around Target sans toddlers?) We explored some new-to-us antique and thrift stores. Taylor gasped audibly when he found a copy of the old hardback version of Atlas Shrugged that he's been pining away for. I got a milk glass pitcher and some beveled mirrors for my soon-t0-be collage. (Maybe the only thing more fun than bashing around Target with my husband is having a husband who likes to look at cool old stuff at thrift stores with me.)

Most of November is a blur. Taylor spent three weeks out of town, during which I had various ailments plaguing my body. I reminded myself every day of how minimal my pain was in the grand scheme of things. But you know what? Even smallish things can be hard and sometimes they really add up. By the end of three weeks of single motherhood and a lot of hurting, I was fighting hard to be cheerful every day. I thought a lot about something my friend, Lori, has taught me--that peace and pain can co-exist. And I remembered that we can't know joy without knowing pain. Opposition in all things. And I realized that I wouldn't appreciate all the suffering Jesus did for me very much if I never had any pain.

So tonight I am sitting here, healed of my dry socket and with my voice back and healing from some other issues, and I spent the whole day with my husband and my two boys were cheerful and darling all evening. And I feel like my happiness is effortless today and that makes me more grateful than I could have ever imagined a couple of months ago.

5 years of wedded bliss. Seriously.

And tomorrow I get to eat gravy and wear my newest shoes.

I love this week.

Halloween pics

2009-11-11T00:18:00.008-08:00

Oh this poor little neglected blog of mine.

Here's the dish. My husband is working a lot lately. (Someone's gotta make some sweet moolah while I'm playing patty-cakes all day.) (That's a reference to Napoleon Dynamite, in case you didn't catch it.) I seem to be developing dry socket, so it's back to the oral surgeon tomorrow. Awesome. And let's be honest, Bloom has become more of a priority for me lately. It's an important creative outlet for me.

ANYWAY. Better late than never, I'm going to show you some cute Halloween-ness.

The Wednesday before Halloween, the youth in our congegration at church always put on a rad carnival.

Rog in his little pumpkin suit with bear legs and diaper bum and little converse all-stars was pretty much killing me (and everyone).
The first weekend in October, Melis and I took our 6 kids to the mall. When we walked into Gymboree Blaine ran to this fuzzy caterpillar costume and put it on (nevermind it is size 6-12 months). He was so obsessed with it I broke down and bought it for him (let the record show, I never would have if it weren't for a sale and a coupon!). I've never seen him care so much about an article of clothing. Pretty much cute.
I had big costume plans but was busy helping set up the carnival, so I went with my fall-back farmer girl look. Good thing I kept my giant, baggy overalls that were uber cool to wear in high school back in the '90s. What in the heck were any of us thinking? What was Calvin Klein thinking, making them?

By Halloween night I was trashed from my wisdom teeth removal. (Talk about a bummer not to be able to eat candy!) We did a quick circle around the neighborhood, which seemed to suffice. Blaine had just as much fun passing out candy from the blue house. You'll note that this night he opted for the pirate digs from his costume box. (Good thing I bought you that caterpillar costume, kid.)So there you have it. I still have big plans to dress up as Marie Antionette. (And a very specific reason why.) And I probably won't wait until next Halloween. Stay tuned...

That kind of friend

2009-11-03T17:19:00.000-08:00

(Can you believe I made her wear a crown at her farewell feast? Don't you love her for humoring me?)

Dear Amy,

A couple of years ago, when we were still in Provo, my long-time friend, Kate, was over. After watching her help herself to some milk in my fridge I looked at Taylor and said, "I love friends like this. I love that Kate is comfortable enough here to do that."

When we left Provo I was fearful about a lot things. Friendship was one of them. I worried that I would be sad without my friends and that I wouldn't be able to find that sort of friend in my new home.

My first Sunday in church I sat in the mothers' lounge and nursed my little chub-a-lub, Rog. You were there, in lavender, nursing your babe. You have one of those sweet countenances. The type of peaceful smile that tells someone like me--she is a really nice person. (I don't have one of those faces. I notice those that do.) And I wanted to be your friend.

Not long after, I came to a mommy&me day at the park. You were there, protecting your darlingly freckled skin with your fabulous sun hat. You had three kids in tow, but didn't seem to be frazzled. I watched you patiently mother and gracefully socialize. And I wanted to be your friend.

The other day you came to pick up your children after their busy session of playing pirates at the blue house. You were in the middle of packing and cleaning and sorting and...ugh. It makes me tired just to write it. But you looked at me, and, as I told you about my needful preparations before the big oral surgery day, you looked around for a job to do. And then it happened. You went looking for my broom and--finding it--swept my hideous kitchen floor.

After you and your darlings left that day (what I knew to be the last time I'd see you dear Hills walk through that threshold), I thought of you and that broom. And I realized. You'd become that kind of friend.

Oh, dear Ame, I miss you already. I didn't think I could cry anymore about it, but writing this makes it bubble over yet again. We will not be the same without you. Thank you for being my friend.

XO,
Anne

Baz. I love thee.

2009-11-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

So here's the part where I fish for sympathy. I had my widsom teeth out Friday afternoon. Boo hoo. I know. But, despite being tired of mushy food, I am doing great. I heard horror stories. HORROR stories! So I am relieved to be feeling pretty well.

On Friday after work, Taylor came to my mom's to collect me and the boys. I had smoothie stains on my sweater, bloody gauze stuffed in my mouth, and a mostly numb face (thus the smoothie stains). I'm sure I was quite a vision for my love.

He scooped me up and took me home, stopping by the Red Box at Wal-Mart for a surprise. Not until the boys had been tucked in did I see what the movie was.

Ooh! I lit up when I saw the opening credits. AUSTRALIA! I'd been wanting to see it forever. We'd heard it was good. Good? NO! It was incredible! We loved it! I wondered why I hadn't heard more hype. I mean, seriously, I loved this movie. It has your scenery, your romance, your adventure, your great acting, your history...all put together by Baz Luhrman, who I happen to loooooove. It was magic.

It left me:

wondering why we don't learn more about Australia in world history

embarrassed that I didn't know more about the terrible things that happened to the aboriginals

wanting to plan a trip down under

loving Nicole Kidman, yet again

loving Hugh Jackman, yet again

I want this dress. You're gonna want one, too.

2009-11-02T17:03:00.001-08:00

Wow. I have amazing friends.

Exhibit A

Karaoke Stars and other trivia

2009-10-20T15:25:00.005-07:00

Happy B.day, Karen!

(Please note the 'No smoking, No Drinking, No cursing on stage' sign. Awesome.)

1. Last Thursday evening I went out with some friends to celebrate my friend, Karen's birthday. As it turns out, Karen is a friggin' amazing singer. During dinner, Karen recounted the stories of her two American Idol auditions. Then we went to Rumors Karaoke Bar to put her to the test. Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously, amazing. I don't know what those chumps at Idol were thinking, because let's get this one thing straight. They missed out.

We all died laughing about a group of Mormon ladies sauntering into a cheesy bar in downtown Medford and announcing we wouldn't be drinking. The lady at the bar: "Well you can't sing karaoke if you don't buy something." Us: "Oh, don't worry! We'll buy something." So we all ordered Shirley Temples, Julie slapped some cash down on the bar, and we marched back to choose our songs. So hilarious. Between all of us we have like 29 billion children and here we are at some random bar (thankfully not a slimy, smoky bar or anything) sipping ST's and singing our hearts out. It was SUCH a ball! I didn't really know what to expect going into Karaoke night, but it turns out it was serious soul candy! So fun. Don't you worry. I rocked me a little "I will Survive," "The Sweater Song" (with Amy), and "Cowboy Take me Away." Loved it.

2. Next. I love LOVE Glee. It has every element that Anne loves, all in one show!
a) MUSICAL!
b) sharp, biting humor
c) quirky charachters
It's like someone put 'Ed' to music. I LOVE IT!

3. Finally. Did you see Where the Wild Things Are this weekend? We did. We were not disappointed. LOVED it. Some things I wasn't expecting. First, it is not a kids' movie. I wouldn't take anyone younger than 10 or 12. It's both intense and deep. Second, I didn't expect to get so emotional. Within the first 10 minutes I was a disaster because there was an emotional scene between Max and his mother that I have lived with my own little wild thing many times before. And Max was acting out because he needed attention and love. Wwwhhoa. Serious wake-up call. Anyway, fabulous soundtrack, amazing costuming, great voices, great symbolism and parallels between the wild things' world and Max's world. We loved it.

As a bit of trivia, I recognized the wild thing, Judith's voice immediately. Anyone know who it was?

XO
Anne

Trivial run-down (it's been awhile.)

2009-10-13T14:13:00.003-07:00

(what I'm gleefully watching on my treadmill these days. thanks, abcfamily)

In trivial news:
-Finally got to see Julie & Julia. Loved it as much as I hoped for. Amy Adams, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Nora Ephron. Love you all.

-Also saw The Proposal. Thought the premise was cute. Love Sandra and Ryan. And then it got so, so silly! Too silly. And I can never look at Oscar (from The Office) in the same way again.

-Speaking of The Office (and silliness), was anyone else severely disappointed in the wedding episode? Seriously, what the heck? After a while, Taylor was like, "Wait, are we watching Mr. Bean or The Office?" Bummer.

-And do you want to hear something rad? I have a gajillion channels again. Because it was cheaper than my 24 channels (20 of which seemed to be home shopping). I heart Dish Network. And. AND! Do you know anyone with DVR on their treadmill? You do now! Running just got so much better! Taylor and I are loving it. (Note. Let me say for the record that Taylor hates the ugly dish on our house and also hates that we have that many channels. He is worried that it is going to ruin our life. But, as I told him the night of the installation, we are too busy to get sucked in. So far, so good. Phewf! Now Taylor will not be cross about this post. Because, you know, Taylor gets so cross about things...)

And finally, have you voted for your favorite photo yet? Get to Bloom! Voting ends tonight!

Another good day on the mish

2009-10-08T15:56:00.004-07:00

(Unrelated photo that I love: at the top of the chair lift at Sundance, UT)

I was just wiping the kitchen table for at least the 8th time today, when I thought about something my sister, Liz, has written about. How much time do I spend every day wiping something? (A table, a floor, a face, a bum.) And today--glory be--I just smiled at the thought of it.

I think because this week I am a new woman (did you read Sunday's post?). And I am remembering every day that wiping things is just a part of this glorious job we call motherhood.

I've written before about making mothering my mission. This afternoon I was out sweeping dirt from the street back onto our property--dirt and rocks that Blaine had thrown while I was inside checking on the cookies. The darling elders rode by on their bikes and Elder Huber offered a trade of sweeping for some water. I happily took him up on the offer, and threw in a peanut butter chocolate chipper for free. They thanked me for the water, told me about meeting some of my neighbors, and rode off just as cheerfully as they had arrived.

I thought about them while I was wiping the table just now. When you're on a mission, there is a LOT of monotony. There is a lot of work that seems fruitless. You knock on a lot of doors with no one behind them. But when there is someone there and he says, "Mormons? I'm your guy! Come on in!" (that is a direct quote, even ask my companion, Melody Coleman Odell!) your heart leaps and you know you would be willing to knock a million more doors just to get that response again.

And I will wipe my table a million more times to snuggle with Blaine like we did in my bed this morning or watch Rog triumphantly build a tower with blocks and then congratulate himself with a grin and round of applause. Seriously. A million more times.

p.s. Did you watch Nie on Oprah yesterday? She continues to inspire.
p.p.s. Along these same lines, we are getting some wonderful photo contest entries over at Bloom. Please send us your photos! This is going to be such a beautiful and inspiring compilation of photos!

Seeing the Everyday Photo Contest

2009-10-06T11:53:00.003-07:00

I am suuuuuuper excited about what's happening at Bloom this week! We are having a photo contest and the winner gets a year subscription to the most fabulous magazine, Seeing the Everyday. Click here to check it out. And tell your friends! It's going to be wonderful.

Post Conference

2009-10-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

(the 'First Presidency' of my church. Henry B. Eyring, Thomas S. Monson, Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

I really like being a Mormon. One of the most unique of our beliefs is that we believe there are prophets and apostles alive today. And every six months we get to here from them. (See here.) This was one of those weekends and here is what I thought about it.

Pretty much what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is, is love. When I listen to the words of the prophets, what I feel is love. They remind me that God loves me. Even though I have felt a little distant from Him lately, and have had a hard time loving myself. When I heard their words today, I felt the Holy Ghost testify to me that God loves me.

I have been struggling terribly with Blaine. He has been lying, hitting, throwing, kicking, destroying things. I have yelled. A lot. I have thrown my hands up. A lot. I have cried. A lot. I have begged forgiveness from God for the yelling. And then I have yelled again. I have told God repeatedly, "This is so hard! This is just so hard!"

And everything I heard today reminded me that we are here on earth to be tested. So yes, it's hard. But we can repent. And even if we keep messing up, we can keep repenting. It's a process. And even if all you can do is try, just keep trying. Try harder. Try. Try.

It was one of those weeks where I'd felt like a failure on most every front. Conference couldn't have been more timely. I feel like a completely different person than I did on Saturday morning. Where there was anger and frustration there is humility and love. I am so happy about it.

Just in time for fall

2009-09-29T23:25:00.008-07:00

I am here to report that we are back at the blue house. Safe, sound, and upchuck (that's what Grandma Tillie would say) free. (Three cheers for Dramamine!) The trip home was a raving success. Here is what we looked like for 12 solid hours.

Rog snuggled with his 'muntees'

Blaine watched oodles of Baby Einstein and Thomas the Train and I praised our DVD player yet again.

Check out Mr. Serious Pants. (Drinking a nasty Red Bull is serious business.) He is a machine. 12 hours, 0nly stopping for peeing and fuel. Way to work it, dear. (Whoa. That is quite a shot of my large nostrils. My apologies.)
We rolled in last night and our house smelled like smoke. (Because of these fires in our valley last week that evacuated several of our near and dears.) Even though I was sad to leave Utah, it feels good to be home. I like my blue house. I like being with my stuff. (How does that saying go? "Home is where the Kitchenaid is?") I like cutting my last few hot pink zinnias and putting them in my green vase and planning all the magic decor that will go up in 2 more days.

This morning was Blaine's first day of our little pre-school co-op. This is the best shot I could get of him. He was too involved in puzzles to say cheese. After pre-school while we had our 2 extra boys for the afternoon, Nana stopped by, toting 5 gallons of milk and juice, eggs, bananas, and English muffins, because 'there were great coupons at Fred Meyer.' I really like my mom. Then Blaine and I made chocolate chippers while Rog napped. We took the cookies to share after dinner at my parents' house. We dined on salad and homemade bread and discussed England, grass-fed beef, and the latest in Newsweek. Then Rog made his best animal sounds for Grandpa. I really like my dad.

It's good to be home after all.

home

2009-09-24T13:43:00.004-07:00

Well these summer pics have nothing to do with Utah, except that I was glad I happened to look through them today. Because we took them on a happy Saturday in Oregon this summer. The kind of day where I was so happy to be where I was. You know, that lucky kind of Saturday where you go to a peach orchard with your boys, get a fabulous deal on local blueberries at the farmers' market, and then find a vintage mirror and glorious cake stand at your local 'trading post.'

I needed that reminder today because I am sitting in Grandma Tillie's house wishing it was my house, and kicking and screaming inside my heart that I have to pack up and go home soon.

What's with me and vomit stories?

2009-09-16T12:15:00.006-07:00

Oh, did you want to hear the story of our drive to Utah?

OK.

Let's see. The first 3 hours were uneventful. Except for when we realized I had failed to get the oil changed in a million years (please turn a blind eye to that sentence, Mom) and I started anticipating our engine to blow up or something. When we stopped for oil in Lakeview, OR, Rog's overactive gag reflex decided to grace us with its presence. That was barf #1.

By the time we were almost to Elko, NV, it was about 9:30 p.m. and Rog had thrown up yet again. (Is it carsickness?) We still had 4+ hours ahead of us. But we were ready to press on. Surely Rog would be asleep soon and Blaine was mesmerized by Diego. And there it was. Barf #3.

And

was

doozy.

Heaven help us all. I had tried to reach back to catch the vomit in a bag (remind you of another day in my not so distant past?), but Rog pushed it away, so my hands were covered in vomit. "Stop the car!" I commanded Taylor. We pulled off the freeway and laid Rog down on his already puked-on blanket to clean him up. Poor little guy. He and his car seat and part of our backseat were covered. There was no way I could put him back in that oozy car seat. Blech. So, dangerous though it was, I put the poor little limp child in my lap and we drove into Elko. Don't worry, the fun didn't stop there. He barfed on me then. AND. The best part? When we'd stopped the car, a bunch of moths and other creatures had found their way through our open doors and onto our dome light. When we got on the road again, our car was filled with bugs! We kept trying to roll down the windows and get them out, but to no avail. Taylor started yelling, "There's moths flying up my shorts! They're everywhere!" Sitting there, holding my little barfboy, all I could do was laugh hysterically. What else could I do?

We gave up on driving the whole way. We stopped in Elko for the much needed respite, food, and washing facilities. After I'd bathed the boys, Taylor arrived from the grocery store, with enough food to feed the nation of Ghana. When I questioned the 3 frozen entrees, 3 frozen burritos, chips, bread, bananas, and applesauce, he looked at me like a little boy and lamented, "I was so hungry!" And then I just rolled over on the hotel bed and laughed until the tears ran down. "Oh, my boys!" I cried, "I'm so glad you're the ones I get to live this craziness with!" Then we put the boys to bed and Taylor spent the next hour cleaning barf out of car seats, clothes, and blankets-- in the bathtub. He is a trooper.

We're here now. And so happy about it.

week in review

2009-09-10T13:40:00.005-07:00

I'm so into Bloom right now, that sometimes I forget about my personal blog. Here's where I'm at this week...

Tuesday was one of the worst days ever. Right up there with the day I barfed 9 million times on a plane, while holding a baby in my arms, getting puke all over me and the person-behind-me's luggage. It started with a painful infection and ended with a $242 ticket for not waiting until a pedestrian was all the way on the other side of the street before proceeding through a crosswalk. Awesome. But. In light of a tragic car accident in the family of some good friends of ours--involving one death, one coma, and one 3-month-old baby, now in the care of her grandparents, I looked at my day and chalked it up as not much.

Today I am gearing up for painting my bedroom and packing for a trip to Utah, both of which stresses are such happy ones! I'm also contemplating a hair cut of a few inches because I feel like my hair is taking over. (Anyone seen The Peanut Butter Solution?) I mean for real, if I let it get much longer I'm going to look like a polyg.

What else can I tell you? The boys moved in together. Which was hard at first but now it works and is pretty much the most adorable sleepover every night. Taylor and I are obsessed with DesignStar (anyone else?) and I am in a constant search for the right elements to finish my living room, which is totally devoid of color, style, and sufficient seating. I am harvesting tomatoes galore, which brings me such delight. And you should see our pumpkin patch (which Blaine and Taylor take great care of--see photo above)! I'm working hard mentally each day to control my tendency to make stress out of nothing, and just enjoy my boys. All 3 of them. I love them.

Loves.
anne

p.s. coming soon...pics of my September mantle and recap of our awesome Labor Day weekend with Lisa and Andy.

My first sale

2009-09-03T14:06:00.004-07:00

A few more details on last week's cupcake business...
So my friend, Jessie, called me last Tuesday to ask me if her step-mom could pay me for 3 days of my cupcake services for a fancy event at the Ashland Racquet Club. My first client! We discussed a few possibilities and came up with the following menu for each day:

-mint chocolate chip cupcakes (as featured on Bloom)
-lemon cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting, topped with a sugared bluberry
-vanilla cupcakes with vanilla bean buttercream frosting (with a cute little tennis ball topper, made my Jessie!)

It was a lot of work, but so much fun, and they were a hit! I've come a long way since making my first cupcakes 2 summers ago. I'm totally becoming a believer in the "you can do anything you put your mind to..." line of thinking. Of course, within reason...

snuggle up

2009-09-02T08:36:00.002-07:00

I just died about this picture and wanted to share it. There's maybe nothing cuter than post-bathtime.

P.S. Head on over to Bloom today for a fun little giveaway!

The big day is here!!!!

2009-09-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

I introduce you to Bloom--my latest project. I have been collaborating with my long time friend, Emily Anne, on this new blog, and we are super excited about it! Come on over today (and every day) to see what we're all about. Tell your friends, grab our button, enter our giveaway tomorrow. Get ready to bloom with us! (Again, HERE is the link!)

Loves,
Anne

It's Friday afternoon.

2009-08-28T15:38:00.004-07:00

I stood in the same spot from 7 a.m. until noon. Frost. Wash. Repeat. Feed children. Clean up after children. Clothes from dryer to basket. Clothes from washer to dryer. Answer phone. Change diaper. Watch Blaine mush goldfish on kitchen floor. Send him to the pantry for the vacuum. Wonder what's taking him so long. Find him in pantry with mouth full of marshmallows. Find it in myself to laugh (after sending him to time-out). Wipe counters. Wipe sand off Rog's hands. And round and round I went. I started to feel frustrated but remembered these things are all just part of the job description to the career that I chose.

During Rog's naptime I plopped Blaine in front of PBS Kids and ran on the treadmill. There's nothing like a good run to get me back into a good mind frame. After my 2 miles I walked into the kitchen for some water and as I chugged it down I looked around at my house. Someday, I thought, I am going to be be here all alone during the day, without any little feet pattering down the hall, with no more fingerprints on my fridge, and none of Blaine's "friends" (stuffed animals) strewn about my living room. And I am going to be really sad.

After my shower I put on my ruffly red shirt, trouser jeans and turquoise earrings. It is 3:30 p.m. and I look like I'm ready to go on a date. I have nowhere to be but here, which is sitting on the floor helping Blaine with his "art" (adhere stickers to paper, cut paper into a kajillion pieces, repeat). But I was sick of being in my sweats. I used to look like this every day. Now I look at myself in the mirror and think, "what am I getting all dressed up for?" Bad sign. Baaaaad sign.

I've realized lately that life is always going to feel this hectic. I'll have more children. They will go to school and boyscouts (heaven help me) and piano lessons and ballet (here's hoping for a daughter). I'll keep volunteering at church. There will always be an endless project list and another load of laundry and another counter to wipe. I have to stop feeling stressed about it all and just go with the flow. "Go with the flow." I think I need to put "learn to needlepoint" on my project list so I can needlepoint that on a pillow.

Better get back to our art.

these peaches did NOT come from a can in a factory downtown...

2009-08-27T21:29:00.004-07:00

My friend, Amanda, gave me a Fabulous Blog Award today. Gracias, Amanda! Now I'm supposed to tell you five things I'm obsessed with. Just today, five things I loved were...

1. Placing my newly bottled peaches in my pantry. (I think I have now arrived as an official Mormon.)

2. Picking basil and sun-warmed tomatoes from my garden and making fresh pesto with farfalle and tomatoes for dinner.

3. Taking a bike ride with my family in my chocolate brown summer skirt and loving my tiny little town.

4. Watching my two PJ-clad boys share a step stool and watch themselves brush their teeth in the mirror.

5. Gearing up for my 3-day cupcake event in which I will be making 75 cupcakes of 3 different flavors for my first...wait for it...client! Got to go! Little cakes to bake!

end of summer update

2009-08-26T09:24:00.004-07:00

That's about as cute as it gets, huh? And don't you like my mom's snappy new look? She had her hair cut short right after the accident since she couldn't hold her hair dryer, etc. I think it's fab. Speaking of my mom, she is going to help me bottle peaches today, which I couldn't be more excited about. Provident living--yeehaw!

Shall we have a little update? I feel like all summer long I've been pretty absent. It's been busy. Texas, Girls' Camp, California, a couple illnesses. And every time a trip is over there is a week of recuperation time, you know? Plus we have had lots of family in town, which is always rad, and, please don't be offended dear little blog, but time with them is more important that keeping up over here. So that's been my summer. Busy. On the home front we've spent a lot of time watering our flowers and garden, making mud pies in our sand box, and baking mint chocolate chip cupcakes. I've had some really tough days with Blaine, but I really like my boys. In fact, last night I said something to Taylor that I never thought I'd say. While watching Rog sit on the counter, fat belly pooching out, stuffing goldfishies in his mouth for his bedtime snack and giggling with every crunch, I said: "I know I always say that if we have 5 boys then I will adopt a girl. But I don't really think I will."

And now, for the final portion of this random update: I have been collaborating on a new, big project. (You know, the bigger and better thing I hinted at, which is not, in fact, another child in my womb.) It's a new blog. And it launches September 1st. (Doesn't everyone need 3 blogs?!) I'm suuuuuper excited about it. You should be, too! OK that's a big enough hint for now. Excuse me while I go peel some peaches.

Jessie+Rog+Blackberries=LOVE

2009-08-24T08:52:00.002-07:00

Elder Cropper returns

2009-08-20T22:56:00.009-07:00

This was two years ago.
And now.

We pretty much took over the airport.

Arrival.

Ian and his mom.

First time meeting Rog.

Ian and Johnny together again. (They got home one day apart.)

Hurrah for Zion, boys!

Mom, flowers, growth

2009-08-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

Look, Mom! The flowers we planted that day continue to flourish in the yard and brighten up the blue house. Don't they look beautiful?

Think of how far we've come since that day. Your darling little E.T. hand is really coming along. You're walking great. You have more energy and are nearly back to normal. I know you have a lot of pain still, but I thought a good reminder of your progress was in order. I think you're healing beautifully. And you can even hold Rog.

I could really wax symbolic here and talk all about how zinnias are the heartiest of flowers, how they just keep growing and blooming all summer long, how they have endured earwig infestation, how they make me smile every time I turn the corner and see the blue house or glance at my kitchen table, how-even after cutting them-they just last and last, how they make me happy. A good choice for that day if I do say so myself.

loves,
anne

p.s. dear readers, speaking of growing, there are bigger and better things from me on the horizon...just...you...wait...

"Mad"

2009-08-13T08:31:00.003-07:00

So Joan requested to see my favorite dance of the season. Taylor couldn't believe I could choose a fave. There were so many unbelievable dances, but this one does it for me every time. The choreographers, Napoleon and Tabitha D'Umo, are a darling married couple who seriously work hip-hop. The story behind this song is about a couple fighting...and then you see them work it out. I love the story, I love Jeanine's darling little grin when Phillip touches her face. I am BLOWN AWAY by their ability to pop and the subtle nuances in both the choreography and performance. As a dancer, this is the most difficult style for me, so maybe that's why I love this dance and appreciate their ability so much. Enjoy!

Places, People

2009-08-12T08:00:00.002-07:00

Dear boys,

I've been heart-sick the last month or so. I've been aching for the past. When I live somewhere, I give my whole heart to that locale and its people. Sometimes I ache for Kirtland. The lump in my throat gets matzo-ball sized when I think of my loves in Ohio. I long to be there, walking along Lake Erie, eating hot Italian sausage and baba ganooj (not together), and marinating in the friendships I made there.

Sometimes I long for Mexico. I dream about riding the bus to el centro, engorging myself on tacos al pastor, and coming home to do laundry with my little familia on the roof of our casita.

But lately it's been worse than ever. I have been aching for Utah. I dream about living on Elm Avenue again and sitting on the front steps with you two, watching the kids march up from school at 3:00. My heart hurts when I remember bringing you babes home from the hospital to that house, and nursing you day and night on the pinkish recliner in Grandma's TV room. I want to take you on walks past the Provo temple and down by the stadium again. I want to go for an evening stroll in the tree streets and lovingly greet literally everyone we see, because they are all dear friends. A couple of weeks ago I was on my knees telling Heavenly Father how much I was longing, and I cried and cried for Utah.

A few days later I drove south with Dad. We left you with Grammy and Grampy and Aunt Joan and knew you would be happy and in good care. We drove down through the great expanse that is California and wondered, "Who eats all those almonds?!" We galavanted in Marina del Rey, playing at the beach and eating at Pinkberry twice a day. We went for a morning jog past the beach houses is Encinitas. We kicked back at an oceanside restaurant and ate eggs benny with avocado and oh glahry was I loving vacation! One night we drove up to an adobe ranch house in the hills of San Diego for a wedding rehearsal dinner. After passing on the tequila, examining the gorgeous home and breathtaking view, and filling up on unbelievable tacos, your dad and I chatted with our friends and got ready for the speeches and entertainment. It was just getting dark as as the live music started. I looked around me and took it all in. The lanterns, the pool, the music, the landscape. Then my eyes went again to the little ringbearer. I couldn't keep my eyes off him during the rehearsal and I'd watched him run all around that ranch house that evening. He was just about your age, Blaine. And like you, he was cheerful and bouyant and silly and full of life.

And my heart started aching again. I didn't care how beautiful this place was or how fun this vacation was. I wanted to be with my boys. I started to feel anxious. How could I leave my babies for so long? How could I be out galavanting in another state instead of taking care of them? As I sat there I realized that I would survive if I couldn't go back to Guadalajara or Cleveland, or even Provo. But I couldn't survive if I couldn't be with you again. I could be happy living in a garbage can as long as I could be with my little family.

I leaned my head back on your dad's chest and felt him love me. I let my anxiety cease. I knew it was time to stop longing for other places, other times. I just need him. And you.

XOXO
Mom

TT Potpourri

2009-08-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

On my trivial mind:

1. Jeanine. A worthy choice. Good job, America. P.S. That photo is from my favorite dance of the season. I am obsessed with it. P.P.S. I have a crush on Tyce Diorio. He is the man.

2. Seven Pounds. LOVED it. Totally. loved. it. If you haven't seen it, I can't tell you anything, because it's a total thought-provoker, and revealing anything will ruin it. But I can't say emphatically enough: SEE IT.

3. On my must-see list:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Julie&Julia

Food, Inc.

San Diego County Deputy Comissioner (for a day)

2009-07-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is a post about my awesome husband.

#1. His first major PR success. Check it out HERE. (You're looking at the Bioskin Tennis Elbow band as featured in Tennis Magazine as one of 9 products that any serious tennis player shouldn't go without.) Boo-yah.

#2. We are on our way to San Diego today. For a wedding. Of Taylor's friend. Oh, and. Taylor is performing the ceremony. Yes, you read that right. This is gonna be awesome.

See you soon.

loves--

anne

So I Think I Can Dance

2009-07-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

On the last night of Girls' Camp, we were treated to a fantabulous slide show, put together by Trina--our Camp Photographer. (We have a Camp Photographer! How great is that?!) We were all gathered at the amphitheater, and had just reveled in the girls' talents and hilariosity as they performed skongs (that's a hybrid of song and skit--I tell you what, our camp is seriously breaking new ground). We needed to wait until it was sufficiently dark to start the slide show, so what did we do? What else? A dance party! G's camp mixed with a dance party? Are you kidding me? Talk about Anne Marie Cropper's dream come true! I jumped up on that stage and found a groove that I haven't worked since college and ohh... it was glorious. The girls were dying about it--they couldn't believe they were watching one of their leaders channel her inner Britney. One girls looked me up and down and said, "Leaders aren't supposed to be able to move like that."

My explanation? "Girls, I have been watching a lot of So You Think You Can Dance!" (And no joke, it has totally made me want to dance again. It's been too long. I've been googling "Hip hop classes in Southern Oregon," but it's all for kids. Can you just see me in Hip Hop class with a bunch of 12-year-olds? Awe-some!)

Anybody else? Taylor and I are totally obsessed this season. Your thoughts? Favorites? My favorite was Janette, and I am beyond bugged that she got kicked off. Come on, you know she was amazingly technically and hands-down the best performer. I love Evan, but honestly can't believe he made it this far. Ade is the man and I think he should take the whole thing. Kayla is AMAZING, but I don't love her as much as I used to. I think she lacks a little in the performance arena. Any fans out there? What do you think?

And finally. Bec, are you reading this? Because Taylor and I are challenging you and Marcus to a dance-off. That's right. August 2009 Cropper Family SYTYCD. You better bring it.

I pledge my allegiance to Girls' Camp

2009-07-27T08:36:00.005-07:00

It's tough to re-cap camp. But I'll try.

friendships strengthened

sleep missed

nature appreciated

firesides given

delightfully obnoxious songs sung

mountains climbed

luxury granted (see above pic. nothing better than a post-hike foot soak.)

pranks pulled (my favorite was the ginormous brazier...)

waistlines widened (ah, those glorious scotcheroos!)

girl drama tempered

memories made

virtue promised

Spirit felt

I love camp. I always will. It's harder when you have to leave your babes--that's for sure. I have a new appreciation for the sacrifices these women all made for me when I was a girlie. It was a pleasure to be up there among such extraordinary women and girls.

Gone to camp

2009-07-19T23:29:00.002-07:00

Ah, summer. There is nothing I love more than the hot, sunny days and all the fun they bring. Only trouble is, it keeps me so danged busy that I've been neglecting my blog.

If I had the time right now I'd write a whole post about the glorious Children's Festival (pictured above) that I grew up on and now have the glee of taking my boys to. I'd do a post on our yard, and how much I love my hydrangea, hanging geraniums, state fair zinnias, and Taylor's amazing landscaping know-how. I'd tell you all about swimming with the boys, about making awesome tacos and french bread (not together). I'd show you my sweet flip-flop tan line, which is--let's be honest--a total miracle. I'd inform you of Taylor and my movie marathons, which have included The Lord of the Rings (who knew? I actually like it now.) and Harry Potter (still haven't seen the new one, and am DYING to!) while folding laundry. I'd share with you my happy moments with my family--including the pool and scones for dinner and a pinata (just because), all in the expanse of my parents' gorgeous, forest-like yard. I'd certainly dedicate a whole post to So You Think You Can Dance, because let's get one thing straight--we are obsessed! Best show on TV as far as I'm concerned.

But sorry, can't. That little summary will have to do. Because I am off to Girls' Camp with my church gals tomorrow. If you know me from the days of my youth, you know that G's Camp is pretty much my favorite thing ever. Only being totally in charge of a little flock of the girls and leaving behind my own tender little flock makes camp a lot more stressful than it used to be!

Anyway, enjoy your summer. Drink it up. Let's reconvene in a week or so.

Loves,
Anne

2009-07-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been full of the kind of presh-ness that can't adequately be captured by a camera, or even by words. Desirous to follow my mantra and "be here now," I used my camera little, my to-do list less, and just marinated in the moments.

Moments like standing on a bridge in the middle of a forest on a Sunday afternoon with the loves of my life and looking up at the bright green trees, glowing with sunlight.

Moments like later that evening when Blaine wanted to play 'baby.' So I cradled him up, and rocked him in our rainbow-striped rocker and sang to him.

Watching the boys clamor for a spot on the couch next to daddy--wrestling like bear cubs.

Watching my toddler become a boy right before my eyes. Hearing him say things like, "Have a good sleep, mom. I hope you have dreams about butterflies and nice ladybugs that don't bite and good monsters!"

Watching my baby become a toddler. Throwing balls. Running. Eating us out of house and home. Finding his voice.

I have a happy little life.

And today is Taylor's birthday. And do you know what he wants? A clean car and a family yard work day. He is a real gem, I'll tell you what.

Texas Re-cap (finally)!

2009-07-10T00:00:00.001-07:00

There was a birthday dinner at Benihana. A quick trip to Dallas (where Henry and Blaine built a ship and packed every earthly thing onboard). It was hot hot hot, so we swam, swam, swam. There were two trips to el mercado. (Just like the markets in my Guadalajara, only air conditioned.) All my shopping-in-a-big-city dreams came true. We snuggled 4 on a bed to watch So You Think You Can Dance and Wipeout. There was good food galore--including good ol' Texas BBQ. We paid homage to Davy Crockett at the Alamo. We ate the best dang guac on the RiverWalk. We got to hang with my sister-cousin. There was a Sunday drive to my birthplace--Old BAMC (Brooke Army Medical Center) at Fort Sam Houston--and the home I spent my infancy in. Our children bonded. We laughed our guts out. We soaked up the sun and the love. See for yourself.

Thanks, Bec and Marcus. We had the time of our lives.

read it with a kleenex

2009-07-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm always finding some trivial reason to be stressed out or think my life is hard. This is why we are supposed to read the words of the prophets every day.

Dining al fresco

2009-07-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

By dinnertime, our back porch is just the right temperature. I have taken to serving dinner out there, which delights me. I love summer. I love looking at the green hills of Talent while we eat corn on the cob. I love just sweeping the mess onto the grass at the end. And I love this little peanut.

This 4th of July...

2009-07-06T09:52:00.016-07:00

the Cropper fam staked out a great spot, as always, for the Ashalnd parade (which, thankfully, was much more family friendly this year. in other words, no naked roller bladers.).

Mary Anne and Aunt Joan dazzled everyone in their sun hats.

Dean was riveted.

Melis and Tan had way too much fun squirting the crowd with their dipsticks while parading on Chris's boat.

Anne with an E cried every five minutes. (No, I am not pregnant. But the 4th of July parade always makes me cry. When the jets fly by, when the veterans walk by, carrying the American flag, when Blaine victoriously catches candies...)

Blaine licked 2 lollies at a time.

Rog was a super trooper, as usual.

The Lamberts drove in from Utah straight to the Hall family cabin.

Mary and Sam floated around.

Jon smiled, as usual.

Liz and I lounged about.

I delivered on my promised cupcakes.

I lit them on fire. (I did not anticipate the ash problem. Oops. Gross. Sorry. Thankfully we had extras.)
Rog said, "Let them eat cake." (Wait, whose revolution were we celebrating?)

The end.

Red, White, and Blonde

2009-07-02T13:57:00.004-07:00

Yes, I know I have been a lazy blogger this week. Excuses:

-still recovering (i.e. getting blue house back in order) from travel/sickness

-some big projects in the works

-trying to give more undivided attention to my boys

-teaching Blaine to swim (more correctly stated, teaching Blaine to not fear the water)

In the meantime, we are preparing for the 4th. I am concocting some flippin' sweet cupcakes complete with sparklers. My pleated fan flags have yet to arrive, so I put my own creation in the meantime. (Pennant banner tutorial coming.)

And, on a purely narcissistic note, I finally got a fresh weave. (Six months is a long time for this blondorexic--the title Taylor created just for me.) Just in time for Taylor's 10 year reunion tomorrow night. Phewf!

Happy 4th, y'all!