Nine Years Grateful

I was doing a stellar job of writing in my journal every day this year.  Just a couple of sentences, but that was a huge improvement in my journaling over the last ten years.  Then one day I realized I had missed two months.  And that is basically the story of my life.  It's a circus!  I am in a constant state of motion.  Swirling around my house, picking up toys, discarded clothing, and general mess made by two toddlers.  Driving around town, dropping off at school, piano, Kindermusik, etc.  Laundry and dinner and planning and holding whiny babies and breaking up fights and (unfortunately) nagging.  That is to say nothing of church service or Penny & Tillie.  And then there is the motion in my head--the constant wondering if I am doing things right enough or if my kids are going to need therapy.  The trying to be patient and calm and to lighten up.  The striving for balance between my needs and their needs.  The self talk to stop being so worried about our mainly first-world problems when there are people in the Philippines truly suffering.  The anxiety about each child's various traits and needs--wanting to empathize and understand more and help them be successful, loving, kind, bright, faithful people.  It is a lot. 

I think an insane amount about my various hopes and dreams for my life.  It's hard to know when to say, 'don't be absurd--give that up,' and when to say, 'go for it!'  It's difficult to evaluate what will be the best for our whole family.  I don't believe in being a martyr mother, but I do believe that 'mother' is the most important of all of my titles and that raising these four children is of far greater importance than anything else I'm doing.

This week Taylor and I are celebrating nine years of marriage.  Nine!  And we feel so grateful.  Grateful we still like each other so much and laugh so hard together and feel so united on all fronts.  Grateful we have four beautiful children to love.  Grateful we have warmth and comfort and security.  Grateful we have so many people in our life who support us and teach us.  Grateful to know that God is real and that He loves us, even when we don't act super lovable.  Grateful for the faith that defines us and informs every decision we make and makes us truly, genuinely, wholly happy.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Blue House, y'all!

Love you,
anne