Monday, March 30, 2009

Truths

Someone told me last week that after reading my blog regularly she had concluded that I have the perfect life.

Darn. I was afraid of that.

'Cause except for that hideous picture of me blowing my nose, I don't write much about the downs of life. Usually I stick to the ups. And that is one of the problems about blogging. You get to choose what to write about--so your readers see your life through whatever picture you paint. (I have a whole post coming about the ins and outs of blogging. Just you wait.)

Anyway, I have chosen to paint a pretty darn sunny picture on this here blog. There are a couple of reasons for that. First of all, I have found that happiness breeds more happiness. In other words, when I choose to focus on the good things that are happening in my life, I feel more happy and more grateful. I have had plenty of pessimism and sarcasm and cynicism in my life. I don't need any more of it. Number two: a lot of life's struggles are too private to blog about. I'm moderately private, and my husband is super private, so that explains that. And finally. I feel like a baby listing my woes when I know others are suffering more.

Let me illustrate.

Truth: The economic crisis has hit our family. We have cinched our budget WAY WAY up. Our ends would not be meeting if it weren't for an answer to prayers that came in the form of a phone call asking me to watch a couple extra boys every week for someone I had never before met. But the thing is, I still buy real butter, and we eat deliciously fresh produce. Those are luxuries most of the world doesn't enjoy. And while it's a stretch to make our mortgage payment, I chose that mortgage payment. And there are hundreds of people a few hundred miles south that are living in a tent city, so how dare I complain?

Truth: My boys have been hard lately. Roger's sweet temperament changed drastically the day he became mobile. He screams like a wild banshee a lot of the time. Yesterday when I picked Blaine up from his nursery class at church, he bit me (hard!) on the shoulder. Twice. (Or was it thrice?) He has spent a lot of time in his room for disobedience lately. And I keep wondering about the scripture that says we should become meek and submissive like a little child. (Who's child is meek and submissive? Not mine!) But Blaine snuggled up to me in bed this morning and rubbed my back. And Rog signed "please" last night for the first time. Which was maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I'd rather think of those things, or else motherhood would feel like the serious pits. Plus, a lot of mothers have it a lot harder. Like single mothers, for instance.

Truth: I've had a cold for a month. Just when I thought last week that it was finally all gone, I developed a sore throat that has persisted several days. Also, I am terribly sore relative to weaning, if you catch my drift. I want to pop myself with a needle. Worst of all, I have had chronic headaches for about ten years. For about the last three weeks though, I have had particularly bad ones every single day. (I haven' t had one for a couple of days, so knock on wood or something.) And while this has felt really hard to me, I've been trying to keep my perspective. One of my dearest of dears has cancer for the third time. She has begun chemo (again). And I read Nie every day, which makes me cry. Every day. And what's a headache to chemo or burned hands?

Now let's get a couple of things straight: I think it's just fine to blog about the downs in life. I appreciate people who keep it real, and I try to do the same (apparently I'm not that great at, though!). And I know that everyone's struggles are relative, and that I don't have to compare mine to others or think I can't complain about my hangnails from time to time. Overall though, the thing is, I do have a really great life. I live really comfortably. I have a really happy marriage and two beautiful boys (even if they do scream and bite). And even though trials come, I have the most important truth of all, which is that Christ has suffered all for us so that we don't have to. So I feel happy. And that is what I choose to write about. Most of the time. OK? OK.

11 comments:

danielle said...

Great Post! And I think your life is perfect too...but not because you are happy all the time or have perfect hair, but because you have balance and joy in your trials and you are ever growing and evolving and amid the messiness of every day stuff are grounded in what matters most! What could be more perfect than that?

And we are lucky and blessed!

Anonymous said...

I was having the same feelings about you too just the other day. If only I had Anne's life, money, beautiful hair, skinny, husband has a stable job. It is nice to know you have your struggles too.

I once had a bishop tell me that how sometimes when you are sitting in sacrament meeting and looking at everyone else you start to think if only I had her life, or their children, my life would so much better. However, he said that if you really knew what some of their struggles were you wouldn't want to trade your life for anything. So I guess my point is you are right we all have struggles and blessings and we need to remember the blessings we do have. Thanks for letting me know the grass isn't greener at Anne's house.

Kara Lee Robinson said...

Anne!! I absolutely love you! You have always been a great example to me and I love peaking at your blog every so often to see your adorable family and what you are up to. You are such a woman of Christ and I will always love that about you!! I sure miss you!

Kate said...

I really loved this post and I have a lot to say about this very topic. But you said it all so well. And just so you know, I've really loved your daily blog. I've loved that you've focused on the positive. I like to do the same. Happiness breeds happiness. I just figure everyone's pretty much the same. Struggling with stuff just like me, and it's often too personal to share and so I figure that's the case when I read blogs. But I'm just trying to say I always appreciate your point of view. And I'm happy we're friends. And I feel like I need to come over for a treat and some girl time.

lori said...

I love you. This is a great post, friend. Thanks for saying it all so well. Thanks for sharing your beautiul life perspective.

(And I never said that I LOVE your Egg advent. Great idea!)

Katie said...

Hey - I hear ya and I totally get it. I have found as you have - that happiness breeds more happiness. I would rather put most of my focus on the beautiful things in my life. I occasionally share some of the negatives because I know other people can relate, but what can I say? My life is pretty good and I am thankful for it. I look at nie, and even my own mom, who has major health issues she has to face every day, and her blog is called "Enjoy The Journey." If they can find joy in what they are facing, so can I!

I wrote a post once about this - in response to "blenvy" I feeling for cjane. Can I share it with you?

http://rillalev.blogspot.com/2008/12/do-you-ever-experience-blenvy.html

Mrs. Cropper said...

Oh thank you thank you for that link, Katie. Y'all should read that. WELL SAID.

Sally said...

Loved your post! I've actually had a post floating around in my head for a while now that I planned on titleing "skinny people have problems too" But, you pretty much just summed it all up for me. And very eloquently I might add!

Joan said...

I think you keep things fresh and real on your blog. I know you though..which probably helps me know that yes you are wonderfully creative and have amazing hair and you suddenly became insanely thin (SO jealous) after you had babies...but you have grumpy/lousy days too--just like the rest of us. And for the record: those days are fun and therapeutic to write about too. Although ultimately I am a firm believer in the power of optimism.
Check out my blog: I wrote you a bit of a love note. tee hee.

Marlo said...

Ditto to what Danielle said...your life does seem perfect in that you have balance. Sometimes you read blogs and you feel bad afterward, like you will never measure up, so you might as well not even try. I hate that. But reading your blog makes me try harder. When I am trying to think of things to do with Noelle I think of your eggs in the basket idea and think I can try that. So you are motivating, but still real, like when you wear your sweats to the store (was that you? I can't remember now). Anyway, I think you do a great job of keeping it real, so keep it up.

Sweetest Of All said...

Great post. Christina sent me over. Glad that she did. I enjoyed reading it.