Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What's with me and vomit stories?

Oh, did you want to hear the story of our drive to Utah?


Let's see. The first 3 hours were uneventful. Except for when we realized I had failed to get the oil changed in a million years (please turn a blind eye to that sentence, Mom) and I started anticipating our engine to blow up or something. When we stopped for oil in Lakeview, OR, Rog's overactive gag reflex decided to grace us with its presence. That was barf #1.

By the time we were almost to Elko, NV, it was about 9:30 p.m. and Rog had thrown up yet again. (Is it carsickness?) We still had 4+ hours ahead of us. But we were ready to press on. Surely Rog would be asleep soon and Blaine was mesmerized by Diego. And there it was. Barf #3.





Heaven help us all. I had tried to reach back to catch the vomit in a bag (remind you of another day in my not so distant past?), but Rog pushed it away, so my hands were covered in vomit. "Stop the car!" I commanded Taylor. We pulled off the freeway and laid Rog down on his already puked-on blanket to clean him up. Poor little guy. He and his car seat and part of our backseat were covered. There was no way I could put him back in that oozy car seat. Blech. So, dangerous though it was, I put the poor little limp child in my lap and we drove into Elko. Don't worry, the fun didn't stop there. He barfed on me then. AND. The best part? When we'd stopped the car, a bunch of moths and other creatures had found their way through our open doors and onto our dome light. When we got on the road again, our car was filled with bugs! We kept trying to roll down the windows and get them out, but to no avail. Taylor started yelling, "There's moths flying up my shorts! They're everywhere!" Sitting there, holding my little barfboy, all I could do was laugh hysterically. What else could I do?

We gave up on driving the whole way. We stopped in Elko for the much needed respite, food, and washing facilities. After I'd bathed the boys, Taylor arrived from the grocery store, with enough food to feed the nation of Ghana. When I questioned the 3 frozen entrees, 3 frozen burritos, chips, bread, bananas, and applesauce, he looked at me like a little boy and lamented, "I was so hungry!" And then I just rolled over on the hotel bed and laughed until the tears ran down. "Oh, my boys!" I cried, "I'm so glad you're the ones I get to live this craziness with!" Then we put the boys to bed and Taylor spent the next hour cleaning barf out of car seats, clothes, and blankets-- in the bathtub. He is a trooper.

We're here now. And so happy about it.


Trina said...

Moths flying up shorts - so funny!!

I read an airplane vomit post a while back, and the author dared anyone to top her story. I didn't want to comment and burst her bubble, but you have her beat all to heck both times.

lori said...

Oh, good grief, guys!!! Glad you made it!

Alicia said...

Bummer. At least you were somewhat close to Elko (the bustling metropolis that it is). Glad you made to our neck of the woods! By the way, which drive was worse-this one or the one where you got stuck in the snow embankment? You've had some eventful drives!

Sarah R. said...

I remember pretty much the first year of Samuel's life being full of vomit stories! It got to the point where every time we rented a car we would tell the company, before we took it out of the lot, that it smelled a little like vomit! Hopefully the rest of the trip was less eventful!

Cat Zimmer said...

Oh, Anne. That gave me a good laugh but I also wanted to shed a tear for you. I can CLEARLY see Taylor yelling that phrase while driving. So so funny. Love you guys.

Katie said...

Oh, you poor thing! And poor Roger, he must have felt miserable. Spencer threw up all over me one hour into our nine drive home from visiting the grandparents. I can't imagine how awful it must have been for you. Hope you guys have fun in Utah!

Emily said...

What is it with you and barf?! You are too funny. I'm sorry about the drive, not only is it the worst drive known to man, but to have barf all over the place too, yuck! I know you are probably way busy, but I would love to see you guys... can we get together? Let me know.

Lakes are Great said...

so no more barfing? everyone happy and gag free? good. have a blast. i'm not harboring ill feelings towards you for being in utah while i'm here in tally at all so don't you worry.

brittani c. said...

I love your storytelling.

Best vomit story. Ever.

Joan said...

Laughing is the best remedy.
Let's hope you don't have ANY barfing stories for many years to come? Can I get an amen to that? :)