Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Pregnancy Notes

 I walked up to the doctor's office this morning trying not to waddle or limp, my round ligament pain acting up on the left side.  It's a familiar feeling, one I tried to take in stride (or take in limp, as it were).

During my visit I told the doctor about how she moves differently than the boys did.  "It's less of a kick or punch and more of a flutter," I explained.  "I have a couple of theories about this.  My first theory is that she's dancing in there."  "She's going to love big, fluffy dresses," Dr. B. quipped with a smile."  "My second theory," I continued, "is that there is more fat this time between me and the baby."  "More insulation," he replied.  "Good theory."

That's not the first thing to be different.  The sickness has been pervasive throughout, and has included new symptoms, including intense bouts of stomach pain.  Everything has just been harder.  But then, that's to be expected I suppose.  I suspect some of that is due to a female cooking inside me, but mostly I think it's a combination of this being my 4th (4th!) pregnancy and the fact that I still had a nearly new, nursing baby when I conceived.  My body is rallying, but I'm asking a lot of it.

I feel like I moan and groan too much, and I'm trying to stop that.  Even the complaining in my own mind.  Because, hey, I am lucky to be pregnant.  And also, I signed up for this.

On July 4th we finished off our packed day (a 10K, a loud, colorful, candy-packed parade, and a backyard BBQ) with a few dozen fireworks out in our little street.  The boys were utterly gleeful as they handed their dad smoke bombs and sparklers and Peaceful Pagodas to ignite (with his creme brulee torch no less).  It was a made in America, better than a movie, memory making kind of night.  Warm air, the sound of neighbors celebrating, me snuggled up with the babe in an adirondak, the boys dancing in the colorful smoke and racing around with sparklers.  Perfection.

And then I thought:  this is going to pass by in the blink of an eye.  In just a few more years, our teenage boys will announce that they want to spend the night of the 4th with friends.  Then they'll eat a disgusting amount of dinner, ask for some money, grab their cell phones, and leave.  I'm hoping it's a little better than that, but I know what reality looks like.

The next day I shared this future image with Taylor and declared, "This is a crazy, hectic time in our life.  All these children are so little and difficult.  But they love being here with us, and it is so fun.  We just have to embrace the crazy and soak it all in while we can."

And that is what we're trying our darndest to do.

Good thing, because it's about to get crazier.


Kyra said...

You are stunning!

sarita said...

"Embrace the crazy."

I think that is going to be my new theme for parenthood.

Melissa said...

I had that same ligament problem. It's hard not to moan a little! Pregnancy has its challenges, then you add not being able to walk without pain. It's a lot. I'm sure you're enduring much better than you think. My second pregnancy was different. I thought I was either having a boy, or a second girl that was much more like me genetically (hence the clash in systems). It was the latter. Not only a girl that looks like me (my first is her daddy's clone), but one that teaches me constantly about my own weaknesses as I see them magnified in childhood form. What a great teacher she's been. My oldest (the daddy clone) will be 13 in two days. She wants a hug one minute and then wants to be on her own the next. It came too fast. I think I embraced the crazy, but I want to go back and soak just a little more in. I believe awareness is a spiritual gift, and it sounds like you and your cute husband have the gift. xoxo

Kate said...

good insights anne. loved this post. what a good mom you are. those kiddos are lucky to have you. it's certainly hard to embrace the crazy sometimes... but you've inspired me to do the same. can't wait to meet that baby girl!

and i love your skirt!!

Katie Lady said...

Anne, you look great! I think the same thing about my little one. He wants to be held all the time, which can be difficult. But, then I remind myself that pretty soon he'll be running around and won't have time for snuggles. So, I have to enjoy it while it lasts!

Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy! I can't wait to see pictures of your little girl!

Aiko Dumas said...

I love the first theory that you said to your doctor! If that is the case, it seems that you'll have a daughter who will be a gymnast/dancer in the future. Haha! But getting serious, I love the way you look at things, especially in your pregnancy. You even managed to celebrate the 4th of July, which demands a lot of work when it comes to preparations and the visitor count. For me, you rock, Anne! :)

Aiko Dumas