Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Living in the Now

OK. Let's be honest. I am a total boob. I just watched the Series Finale of Gilmore Girls. (I work on Tuesday nights, so I had to record it and watch it late.) And I am not kidding you even a little bit when I divulge the fact that I bawled, no BAWLED my way through it! As pathetic as this may be, I totally feel like that show was a part of my life. My favorite show of all time for certain. And now it's over. Thank heaven for DVDs.

On another sad note, my friend, Heidi, recently informed me that my favorite band of all time, Nickel Creek,

has just split up to work on their solo albums. This is yet another tragedy. If you don't know them, get to know them. They are incredible musicians, and they are fabulous storytellers-through-song. (Side note: I was recently lamenting to Taylor that I wish I could go with Heidi to see them live last week. He said, "Anne, you've seen them live 3 times!" Me: "Yeah, but every performance is different, and more amazing than the last!" Taylor: "What are you, a 'dead head?!'")

The ending of these two things reminds me of the fact that practically everything that is quintessential AnneTaylor is no more. Our first date--when we were both seventeen years old--was in Ashland, Oregon. We went first to Trinity Lanes and did some bowling (it was actually "cosmic bowling"--where they turn out all the lights and turn on black lights--good, clean, cosmic fun) and then walked across the street to Dairy Queen for blizzards. A couple of years later, good ole' Trinity Lanes closed down. And last year, much to everyone's dismay, the Dairy Queen became a bank. And there went the site of our first love connection (OK I was feelin' it-- Taylor may have taken some convincing). It gets sadder. Almost exactly six years following that first date, Taylor and I were married in the Meford, Oregon Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Of course that structure still stands. That evening, we had a beautiful, delicious, happy reception at the brand new Medford Oregon Public Library. Just weeks ago, that library-along with the others in our area-was shut down. (A tirade on this utter tragedy and the idiocy of Southern Oregon's quack politicians is the subject of an entirely different post.) And there went the site of our wedding celebration bliss.

So what's the big deal? Why does a shut-down bowling alley make me sad? What made me bawl as I watched Rory and Lorelai have one last breakfast together at Luke's Diner? Why does my whole core ache when I think about Kirtland? Why do I sometimes take a scenic route home so I can drive by my the little blue house I lived in with my girlies? Why do my eyes well up every time I walk by an elementary school? Turns out I'm the queen of reminiscence and nostalgia. I think that's good in many ways. But I'm not so good at letting go. I realize, though, that I need to try harder to be happy living in the present.

So, without further ado, here's what I'm presently enjoying. Snuggling with this guy.

And this guy.

Riding around town making Vespa shadows.

Walking in the sunshine. Retail therapy (my latest coup--J.Crew cropped jeans: regularly $85, purchased by me for $22.50). Blogging (Reason #1--a renewed effort at journaling. Reason #2--connecting with friends--old and new). Reading (current book: Safe Journey: An African Adventure by Glenn L. Pace. Amazing--I recommend it to everyone. And I'm dreaming of a mission to Africa...). Cooking. Check out me and my tandoori chicken. It was delish.

Baking birthday cupcakes--everything from scratch (this is big for me)!! I think it was unanimous that the cream cheese frosting was the best part. Watching my one-year-old experience his first dose of sugar and feeling so delighted to be a mother.

Remembering that confidence waxes strong in the presence of the Spirit. (What do you do when you paraphrase? You certainly don't use quotation marks...) Feeling thankful that even though Logan and Rory didn't end up together, Taylor and I did. And thanks to being "sealed for time and all eternity," we don't have to worry about any sort of finale.


Emily said...

Well! I guess I'm an official member of the "Boob club" too 'cuase I sniffled and sobbed my way through this post. I love these pictures. Your cupcakes turned out beautifully! I'm so sorry that the places of your past are closing down one by one; yeah, Medford public affairs--seriously whacked! But I Love the idea of you and Taylor never having a finale...and I really LOVE that Nate and I will be similarly finale free :) And since we're related through all these eternal bonds, doesn't that give you and me a finale-free guarantee, too?
I hope so.

Emily said...

and i don't know why i can never spell 'cause properly in a comment.

liz said...

Lovely, lovely. Isn't everyone a bit nostalgic? It's so much easier to look back and remember only the good parts than to look forward to the unknown. I loved how you ended this post. We need to remember our eternal bonds every single day -- they will get us through the rest.

p.s. I'm not as much of a boob as you are, but I did tear up when Lorelei and Rory arrived at the party -- weren't they lucky to have so many people who cared about them?

Katie said...

I am sorry that all of your lovely memories are closing down. (And Gilmore girls too, only I hate to admit I have never watched it!) My family also calls me the queen of nostalgia. I just hate change! It is so hard! Just keep enjoying that family of your's. After all, it is all we take with us in the end. Love.

danielle said...

look at you with you fancy pants chicken. wowee. I think you know how I feel qabout the gilmore girls...I don't think I can comment on that..still too painful. On nostalgia...I still drive past our blue house too...but my favorite thing is that when I get nostalgic, but can't quite remember all the details--I can just ask you;)

Anonymous said...

I loved this post Anne! Because I lived with you at the Blue House (even though I was off and married in a quick semester, I still remember the good times), and got to know you, this post just reminds me so much of you! You are the queen of nostalgia, and like Danielle says, you remember all the minute details, which makes us all smile! I'm glad I have friends like you and Kate who remember everything, when I remember nothing! Kate was reminiscing one time to me about how I told her I was pregnant with Halle. I came into Red Robin with some friends...yeah, I can't remember ANY of that, but I was so glad to hear it again from her! Thanks for being the nostalgic friend, who reminds us all of how truly fun and wonderful life is!

P.S. I'm crushed too that Nickel Creek split up! I didn't even know it was their last concert until that night! Sob.

Amy Jean said...

wow, I'm glad to know that there are people out there who are just like me. I too, sobbed my way through the series finale, and I hate letting go of anything! But I have dubbed 2007 the year of "moving forward" so thanks for reminding us to live in the now!

kate said...

Oh I was thinking of you just I checked your blog, and there were the girls! I just finished the finale, in between laying PVC pipe, and showering for what feels like the 9 time in 48 hours...and I can only imagine how sad you must have been, because it was sad, and cause I bailed out on you...if I was in your presence watching that I for sure would not have been able to maintain composure! I hate when things end but it just means a new beginning and those are always great adventures! love you

lori said...

oh, Anne, I love you! This is so beautiful! I have been feeling nostalgic all day long thinking back over Lucy's first two years of life and everything we've experienced with her. I even sent Wes off to see Spider Man by himself tonight (mostly cause we couldn't find a baby-sitter...but I'm not as unhappy about it as I might be, because I'm in such a reflective mood! I just want to sit here at my computer and blog about my baby girl - who is growing up so fast that it brings tears to my eyes even at this moment! Pathetic? Pathetic. :) But you're right - there is a joy that comes from living in the present and knowing that our futures - eternal futures - will be full of the same love that warms our past. Thanks, Anne! (P.S. You and Taylor and Blaine have got to be just about the handsomest family around! Look at those pictures!)

Katrina said...

Hi, Anne! This is Katrina, Emily's friend, and I linked over here from her blog. Just had to tell you that I love this post! I am also totally bummed about Nickel Creek but take comfort in the fact that they are bound to get back together someday. Great pictures too!

Jill said...

I love you Annie. I too am a nostalgic lady and therefore I do believe that your family's kinship and nostalgia played a role in my marrying Brian.