Sunday, January 31, 2010

getting personal

It makes me so sad to think that I used to attend to this blog every day.

Now I feel like I owe some sort of giant update, but I don't have the mental energy for that.

I'm going to try to get back to it, because it's really the only form of journaling I am good at keeping up with anymore, and it breaks my heart to think of the last few months of my children's life ill-recorded.

I think it's partly because of my focus on Bloom, and partly because life is really busy lately. (Like was today a day of rest? Not so much. Sundays aren't what they used to be!) But also because a lot of my life for the last few months has been dealing with certain things that I haven't felt like blogging about. Not because I am a super private person. But because I haven't felt like people want to read super personal stuff about me. But then I remembered that this is a blog, which is basically an open diary, so if I get too personal for you, feel free to roll your eyes and click away.

Like I said, part of it is just busyness. Did you know, for example, that I am planning my annual V-day cupcake party? Want to come? Let me know and I'll give you the deets. And did you know that last week I was a mother of 6 while my bro and his wife were out of town? The photo above is a Saturday morning at Donut Country (2nd best donuts in Southern Oregon, 1st prize going to Puck's, of course) after I ordered all the kids around like a drill sergeant, making them clean the whole house. (Lizzy: "My mom never makes us clean the house." I am sure, Lizzy.)

And the other part is that I have some weird health issues going on. And all I really want to be happening in my body is growing a baby, but that just can't happen right now. So I've been going a little crazy for the last 5 months while we try to figure it out. And for some reason that whole thing has caused me to feel a little closed off and like I didn't want to write much for a while. But I miss writing about our family and our life. Because even though it isn't perfect right now, it's still really good, and whose life is perfect, anyway? And I don't want you to worry about me or feel sorry for me. There are way too many heart-wrenching things going on in the world right now for you to worry about me.

Anyway, at this moment I have way more respect for my friends who are brave enough to blog about things like cancer and infertility (neither of which am I dealing with). So anyway, to all 7 of you who still bother to check this blog, thanks for letting me talk.


Sugar... said...

Hey, you're right, nobody has a perfect life. It's hard to remember that when you are going through tough times. I hope things work out for you and you get your wish to grow your family! I'm glad you updated your blog...good to hear from you!

Sarah said...

I'm glad you're updating! And even though there are lots of other this going on in the world, you matter a lot to me, and so you're in my prayers too!

The Llewellyn's said...

Anne...your blog is my favorite blog to check, you always motivate me and make me wanna do crazy thigs (like run a marathon...whoo, still working on that one) I love your blog and we miss you guys. Keep up those posts, cuz I read them!

Nikki Douglas said...

I totally love your blog, too. And I am so guilty lately of not updating my blog too...I've found so many other blogs I love to read that look so much more interesting than mine that I just have kind of lost the desire to update mine...not good. Since you're right...this is pretty much my only journal too. Thanks for the reminder.
Aren't health issues so frustrating! I have totally learned that so many times good doctors are just doing their best to guess too and the answer is usually 'try this for three months and we'll see if you feel better.' I don't like that answer, but I guess I'm learning my body will never be perfect so from here on out just expect something to not be right. Might sound depressing but it's not for helps me not dwell on it and find joy in other things. Take care. I'm thinking of you.

brittani c. said...

There's nothing wrong about writing about the negatives...and you're so good about not dwelling on them. I hope you get well; health problems are incredibly hard to deal with. Take care of yourself and your beautiful family. Love ya.

Alicia said...

miss you, friend.

i think a lot of people are in a blogging rut lately.

wish you were closer! i would love you to come to johnny's birthday party and try out some cupcakes!

you'll be in my prayers!

annie said...

Anne. Even through your hiatus, I still continued to check your blog to see what amazing things you have to say, to show, to read, or to do. I always look forward to your posts. You are such an inspiration. Glad you're back. I've missed you!

Amanda said...

I get in a rut too. All I want to be doing is growing a baby inside of me too, but apparently I have issues as well. So, for the next couple months I'll be hitting up doctors to find out why my babies don't seem to make it UGH ~

Glad to see an update!