Thursday, October 4, 2012

I have four kids

Below: A post I wrote a few days ago during soccer practice. Since then all of my kids have a cold--including Clara. I had a major anxiety attack that it might be RSV (which Carter got at this age and it was the scariest thing ever) but was relieved by the doctor's news that it's not. I'm battling PP anxiety a bit each day, which is helped a lot by visits and calls and texts from so many thoughtful people in my life. I struggle a ton to remember that I can't demand the same of myself that I normally do. It's all about lowering expectations! Anyway, thanks for your love and support, in all forms. I feel amazed at how many wonderful people I have in my life.
Holy crap. I have four kids. Clara is 2 weeks old today and things are rolling along. And I'm happy that they are. I am so busy this time around that I don't have time for baby blues. Heck, I hardly have time to think. I'm at soccer practice and preschool and kindermusik and piano lessons and then I whirl around my house nursing, tidying, feeding, and encouraging homework and chores. People keep looking at me like I'm a crazy woman when I show up various places having just given birth, but I don't really know what else to do!

Here's what's making this possible: I have an immense amount of help. My mom and sisters in law do a ton for me, my friends drive my kids to school, and delicious meals have come pouring in. (Man, I love Mormons.) Without all this help I think we'd barely be surviving. With it, I feel like we're thriving. Of course I'm tired beyond belief and rely on daily excedrin to battle the headaches. And I'm disheveled and without make up most days. But my house is warm and clean (ish) and happy and even dressed for Halloween. My children are mostly doing great (minus Blaine's meltdowns this week and the fact that Carter likes to throw toys at me and Clara while I nurse). I kind of expected to fall apart and feel completely overwhelmed and be depressed to boot, but, I am happy to report, that is not the case. And that feels miraculous!

Soccer practice round up: B out on the field, Rog and Carts on the playground, Clara sleeping like a wee angel, and me, writing this.


Katie Lady said...

You're SuperMom! Congratulations again on your newest addition! I hope you all recover quickly from the colds. So glad it's not RSV for little Clara! I love seeing your updates!

lori said...

SuperMom! Exactly! It must be such a whirlwind! Hope you ever will find two minutes to rest!! I pray you'll find some relief from the headaches while you enjoy those beautiful babes! Sure love you, friend!

rae said...

"i have four kids."

LOL. so funny. keep saying it sista, just keep saying it!

Just a few months ahead of you and still I have yet to really let that sink in myself. SO glad you are feeling better this time around. :)

Danielle said...

miraculous! and blessed!

Joan said...

I so wish I were there to help. I miss you guys. Love AJ

themother said...

Dear Anne. You are fully in the river of life at this point, and to expect much more than drowning-avoidance is futile. You ARE doing well: to come up for air after a few days in the rapids and to float along on your back for a minute and gather in the beauty and joy of it all before you careen into the next turbulent stretch is so great. I think I often kept thrashing even when out of the rapids and forgot to give in and float peacefully for a time. I am proud of you for noticing the blissful moments, for knowing they are short lived, but for realizing they will come again--that peace and gratitude. As I always say, Revel in it. I too wish I could be there to pitch in, but it seems you are well cared for. Love you, M.A.