I have four kids

Below: A post I wrote a few days ago during soccer practice. Since then all of my kids have a cold--including Clara. I had a major anxiety attack that it might be RSV (which Carter got at this age and it was the scariest thing ever) but was relieved by the doctor's news that it's not. I'm battling PP anxiety a bit each day, which is helped a lot by visits and calls and texts from so many thoughtful people in my life. I struggle a ton to remember that I can't demand the same of myself that I normally do. It's all about lowering expectations! Anyway, thanks for your love and support, in all forms. I feel amazed at how many wonderful people I have in my life.
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Holy crap. I have four kids. Clara is 2 weeks old today and things are rolling along. And I'm happy that they are. I am so busy this time around that I don't have time for baby blues. Heck, I hardly have time to think. I'm at soccer practice and preschool and kindermusik and piano lessons and then I whirl around my house nursing, tidying, feeding, and encouraging homework and chores. People keep looking at me like I'm a crazy woman when I show up various places having just given birth, but I don't really know what else to do!

Here's what's making this possible: I have an immense amount of help. My mom and sisters in law do a ton for me, my friends drive my kids to school, and delicious meals have come pouring in. (Man, I love Mormons.) Without all this help I think we'd barely be surviving. With it, I feel like we're thriving. Of course I'm tired beyond belief and rely on daily excedrin to battle the headaches. And I'm disheveled and without make up most days. But my house is warm and clean (ish) and happy and even dressed for Halloween. My children are mostly doing great (minus Blaine's meltdowns this week and the fact that Carter likes to throw toys at me and Clara while I nurse). I kind of expected to fall apart and feel completely overwhelmed and be depressed to boot, but, I am happy to report, that is not the case. And that feels miraculous!

Soccer practice round up: B out on the field, Rog and Carts on the playground, Clara sleeping like a wee angel, and me, writing this.