Thursday, October 18, 2012

Post partum life

Wrote this a couple days ago...

I always feel like I want to update the blog but I don't feel like there's much to say. My days are busy and run together--particularly because I don't always see my bed at night. Some days I'm cheerful and hopeful and energetic. Other days I'm hormonal and sleep deprived and want the whole world to disappear. Every day I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the service rendered me. Like Taylor taking the first shift with the babe at night so I can get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep and getting Blaine ready for school in the morning while I try to pull myself out of my coma. Like my mom calling every day to see what she can do for me--take Carter? Pick up groceries? Help me clean my bathrooms? Like so many friends who call or text daily to check in and offer help. I am so overwhelmingly blessed.

Post partum life can be ugly. Clothes don't fit, boobs hurt, crying daily feels inevitable. Thoughts are often irrational. And sometimes it seems like no one talks about those things so you feel alone in your craziness. But even though they're born of too little sleep and too much estrogen, they're still real feelings. I'm so grateful for the grace that time and experience and good people have granted me.

On the other hand, I got just enough sleep last night to feel completely peaceful today. Here I am at the soccer fields, watching Blaine practice, pushing the other boys on the swings, basking in the autumn sunshine and counting my blessings.

Like my mom is constantly reminding me--we're doing well.


Vicky said...

Such a beautiful baby! (I LOVE the blue!) You are so inspiring to me as a mother, Anne. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Heather said...

Love it.

Nettie Martin said...'re amazing! And your little Clara looks like a female version of your boys. You guys sure do make cute babies!

Kate said...

hang it there. wish i could come over for a chat while luce is in school! love you

Joan said...

You have such an honest and open perspective, Anne. By three months you'll have it all figured out.
Can't wait to show my bridal shower photos this weekend...thanks to you, I think it'll be a pretty cute party.