March, sickness, vampires, gratitude

Holy smokes. Hello, March. Mmm. March. I love you.

Don't be too fooled by the above pictures. Only yesterday did I finally get enough energy back to take down valentine's and put up my green.

We have been sick. Rog and me. For three days we sprawled out upstairs doing nothing but watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (boys), reading about vampires (me), barfing, changing diapers, washing pukey clothes and blankets, and sharing cups of 7-up and Powerade. (Taylor was in Park City, UT, on business.)

On Sunday morning I called my mom and asked for a pep-talk. "I'm so tired. I was up in the night helping Roger throw up in his sleep and then Blaine was up super early. I can't stomach anything. I have no energy. I feel like a train wreck. What do I do?"

After watching her other local grandchildren, picking up an elderly man for church, teaching Sunday School, and fixing dinner for my dad, she swooped in to the blue house. She cleaned up all the play doh. She swept my kitchen floor. She did all the dishes. And then? She got on her hands and knees to wipe down my entire kitchen floor. I kid you not. Then it was upstairs. She cleaned up all the toys and helped the boys do puzzles and read stories while I lay (lie?) (layed?) (lied?) on the floor trying not to vomit. Then she took Blaine (my unbelievably hearty child who never catches these darn bugs) home for a movie, ice cream, and a sleepover. Angel mother, I know.

Saddest news of all. Now my mom has it. Where is the justice in that? So sad. I love you, Mom. I'm really sorry you got it.

Now here are some things I have to say.

1. I was pretty devastated to wake up sick on Saturday morning and find that Rog had thrown up in his bed overnight. So sad. I couldn't believe I was all alone and sick. How could I take care of a sick babe? But, even though Tay was gone, I was so not alone. Mary Anne dropped off powerade. Jessie took care of all my church youth responsibilities. Em held down the fort at Bloom. Melis called or texted me every day. "What do you need? What can I bring over?" Meds, movies, soup, popcicles. Melanie sent over 7-up, soup, juice. Charles and Tanner came to administer a priesthood blessing. Even though I wished for healthier times, I could not not feel love and gratitude through every minute of the experience.

2. I was also grateful that my boys were happy to watch Mickey all day. Because I sincerely couldn't.do.anything. And so I read Breaking Dawn, all 750 pages of it. It was the perfect escape. I get kind of embarrassed to admit that I like those books, because they sound so silly when you're trying to explain the plot to someone. "...And then she is torn between her love for the vampire and the werewolf, but she wants to become a vampire, and..." See? Silly. But it made my weekend bearable. So, thanks Stephenie M.

3. The best news of all is that Taylor is en route as I write this. For home. And he makes Edward Cullen look like chopped liver.

4. Cutest/saddest image of the weekend:

5 unrelated things

1. Of utmost importance: My sis, Liz, had her baby last night. Thomas Matthew Lambert. Pictures to come. Mama and baby are doing well.

2. I have been thinking a lot about how we have to do hard things to progress. Duh, I know. It's just that sometimes we don't want to do hard things. We avoid them. We complain about them. But we can do them. AND. We have to. (Who's ever heard of getting to the top of a mountain without having to climb?)

3. Sitting in the temple with our youth group last night I thought again of a principle that never ceases to amaze me. Which is--we possess an infinite amount of love. I just can't get over how extraordinary and powerful that is.

4. My friend, Jessie, tipped me off to a fab-o blog. It's called Made. The (wanna-be) sewer in me love loves it.

5. This is what every inch of my kitchen floor looks like.

Oh, and it's 4 p.m. and the boys are still in their jammies. OK and let's be honest, so am I.

Time to get back to work.

Tales of a Hall Advisor (aka the most boringest post ever)

For those of you who might wander into my blog (always feel free to lurk and/or comment) and don't know--I am a working mom. I actually have probably one of the greatest jobs a stay-at-home-mom could have. I work for Brigham Young University as a Hall Advisor. Lots of other universities call this position "Head Resident"--that may help you get what I do. Basically I live on campus (at almost 26? Yeah, baby!) and supervise Resident Assistants as they...well...assist their residents. Aside from a couple meetings each week, some cleaning inspections here and there, and dealing with some...er...um...interesting situations, I get to be at home in my (free) apartment, and play with my son. It's fab. I could write some UNBELIEVABLE posts about those "interesting" (such a euphamism--did you catch that?) experiences, but I can't--due to a little law we here in Residence Life (oh, and everyone else in the country, as it's the name of the law) called FERPA. This is the Federal Education Rights and Privacy Act. It's what infuriates my mother-in-law when she calls to find out how much more rent money she owes for her freshman son ("I'm sorry, ma'am, that's confidential.") and what permits me from telling you detailed stories that would make your job drop with shock and your body double over with laughter. Let's just say, even here in the so-called "Mormon bubble" of BYU, there are some seriously nutty people that do seriously nutty things. ANYWAY, after that longest, boringest intro ever... Last week was crazy, as the semester ended and I checked out out residents galore. Although it was super hectic, and I missed lots of fun family stuff (they were in town for my sis-in-law, Sara's grajiation), there were some true highlights:

*Having family in town is just a ball. Even when we're just sitting around helping Sara pack for her Mexican and Alaskan adventures (yeah, she is really cool and I think she should start a blog about her adventurous life) and eating baked oatmeal (which Taylor had to inform Rebecca (its creator) that I dislike while I was slyly pretending to enjoy it), we have so much darn fun talking and nursing babies and laughing and reminiscing and putting nylons on our heads (wish I had a pic to show you!)

*I had a complete and total nervous breakdown this week. No. I'm serious. Utter destruction. Hyperventilation included. I have this recurring nightmare about being in a situation I can't control and screaming at someone about it. It has never actually happened in real life. Until Wednesday when it did. That was not the highlight. The highlights were that my husband (the recipient of the yelling and screaming) forgave me and has faith in me that I won't ever do that again and that my dear friend, who happens to double as my visiting teacher, called me. Upon hearing her voice I melted into a puddle and then she watched my son all afternoon. And THAT my friends is why I have a testimony of visiting teaching (note: it's April 30th and I have not done mine...groan). Through the inspired program my visiting teacher became my friend. And it was my friend, Lori, who came to my rescue that day.

*Although it was the busiest week of the year, I really loved my job last week, which I can't always say. Check-out week is when I set most of my administrative duties aside, roll up my sleeves, arm myself with a scrub pad and a bottle of 409, and mingle with the students. I often find my job unfulfilling--especially when I compare it to teaching. But mentoring a freshman boy on how to get grease off the hood of the stove felt surprisingly fulfilling. Chatting en espanyol with two of the darlingest mexicanas while I checked their apartment felt delightfully fulfilling. And enjoying the comraderie of our Residence Life Staff as we swapped tales of resident idiocy and cheered each other on during the craziness felt wonderfully fulfilling.

*I got a new necklace from my friend, Deon. Have you seen her website? You need some of her stuff. It will make you feel as fancy as Nancy. We also got a new toy this week. I am not revealing what it is as I will dedicate a post to it. It's that good. Get excited.

*Like I said before, I had to miss some family fun because of work. Though I missed the ambiance of The Happy Sumo, I did not miss its deliciocity, as Taylor made sure to bring home some of my most FAVE-O-RITE sushi--shrimp tempura. You just can't beat all those layers of flavor, rolled into one big mouth party. The nori, the avacado, the tempura shrimp, the soy sauce, the pickled ginger... YUM. If you're reading this (first of all, congrats for making it this far in this boring post without giving up) and thinking: "EWWW! Fish! Gross!" let me just say that I think you should try a shrimp tempura roll. First of all, the shrimp is cooked. Second, you simply must give it a try--don't rob your palate of this sumptuous fare!

So anyway, it turned out to be a really happy, fulfilling week (until the mass exodus of family members Saturday morning when Taylor and I cried buckets). OK I'm bored of this post. Time to make a new one.

Moments

In my last post I related my sometimes struggle to relish the role of mother. It was honest. But it made me sad. I've been trying harder lately to notice the simple, sweet moments of motherhood. As I played many of these moments through my mind today, I got a bit of a lump in my throat as I remembered how much I do love being a mother--how much I do love my son. So I thought I'd tell Blaine about some of these moments...and I'll let you listen in.

When you woke up from your nap this afternoon you had an imprint of Bear's fur on your right cheek. It's sweet how much you love Bear. I love how you dive for your crib at bedtime each night because you are so eager to snuggle with him.

You are getting very good at clapping. I especially love how you clap for yourself while you eat. Since this note is all about why I love you I won't mention how I feel when you do other certain things while you eat--like when you spit out a mouthful of pureed strawberries, bananas, and oatmeal and then proceed to rub the muck between your fingers, up your face, and through your hair.

Your waves make my heart flutter. You wave and wave and wave and wave. It's like you're conducting the Cleveland Orchestra. The best part about your waving is the smiling and giggling that accompany it.

The other day I grinned as I heard you wake up through your bedroom door: "mamamamamamamamama..." It made me feel ten feet tall that those were your first thoughts upon waking up. I felt like I was floating 2 days later when you patted my chest and uttered those same words.

I love how inquisitive you are. On our walks you practically fall out of your stroller as you lean over to look at the grass or reach for the flowers.

Your laughter is pure sunshine. There is absolutely nothing that brings a smile to my face more quickly than listening to you crack up as Dad tickles you with his whiskers.

Lately you've taken to a bit more snuggling, which I am in love with. I love when you crawl into our bedroom and, with a large grin, put your cheek down on the sheepskin rug. I love it even more when you discover the yellow fleece blanket under the bed, and pull it out for a little more cuddling. Then I lie down on the sheepy next to you and you lovingly headbutt me or touch your cheek to mine. Heaven.

But, my dear boy, my favorite new trick of yours is--HANDS DOWN--your downward dog pose. What a presh little yogini you are!

And just think, Blaine Tanner--you aren't even one year old. This list is only the beginning.

I love you,

Mama