More like Cookie

with Cookie at Cleveland's West Side Market, Spring 2004 font

I told you I'd tell you a little more about Cookie. I thought today was appropriate...

One day last fall I noticed that Cookie wasn't responding to my emails. Within a week or so we received news of her passing. The next day I found myself on the phone, making arrangements to get to Cleveland immediately.

So much of that quick visit to attend her funeral mass seems surreal. I was back in the place I'd served as a young Mormon missionary, only this time I was pregnant with my third son. And Cookie, one of the central figures of my 6 month stay in the city of Rocky River, was missing.

I was there less than 48 hours, but it was long enough to feel deeply the sorrow of a friend taken by cancer and the joy and love one human being brought into the lives of everyone around her.

I was reminded of that love when I stayed up late talking to Cookie's daughter, Holly, and watched her all weekend, courageously filling the role of matriarch of a large extended Italian family. I was reminded of it when I greeted Cookie's mother, Rose (who is nearly 100!), and wept that she had to lose her young daughter. I thought of Cookie's love as I hugged her husband, Nazih, and felt speechless and unable to convey how I felt for him. The way Cookie loved people was celebrated again and again--I felt it as I talked with her son, hugged her grandchildren, listened to the Priest who led the mass, observed co-workers (she'd been a nurse) as they spoke of the tender care she gave patients. I felt the way she loved people as her eulogy was given and then a letter from her was read, telling us of the joyous life she'd had and 'not to cry for her.'

But I think the most poignant examples of the way Cookie loved came as Holly showed me all of the flowers that had been delivered. Of course there were dozens of gorgeous arrangements--from family members, dear friends, old co-workers. But four of the flower arrangements really stood out.

One from the hairdresser--a darling man Cookie had been a loyal client of for decades.

One from the dry cleaners--where Cookie had been such a longstanding customer that she kept a tab.

One from the mailman--who Cookie had always left bags of chips and chocolates for with her outgoing mail in the mailbox.

And one from the staff at Caribou Coffee--where she and her sweetheart, Nazih, had spent hours each week reading and talking and being together.

Cookie loved Valentine's Day. And I find that so fitting, because she was so good at loving. This year as I celebrate, I am trying to be more like her. It's not just about kisses and chocolate and romance. It's about my little children. It's about my friends. It's about my neighbors. Maybe it's even about my mailman.

It's about more love.

Happy Love Day,
xoxo
anne

Valentine's Day Party 2012

This year's Vday Party post is less about cupcakes and party displays, and more about love.

Everything was different this year. We had to change it from Saturday afternoon to Friday evening, which meant instead of an entire morning, with my husband's help, to decorate, pipe frosting, etc., I had Friday to do it. Alone.

Or so I thought.

I woke up Friday morning feeling grumpy, lethargic, a little sick, and apathetic. My house was a wreck and Carter was a grumpy disaster. I'm pretty sure I snarled something nasty as Taylor left for work, which left me feeling even worse.

It took a shower and an apology text to Taylor to start feeling more like myself. I had a party to put on. Now was not the time to loaf!

I got to work rolling out heart shaped sugar cookies, setting butter out to soften, arranging cake plates. But with a grumpy babe, it was slow going and discouraging.

Then, without a word from me--nary an emergency flare nor a smoke signal--the rescue artillery started rolling in.

First it was my friends, who are also my visiting teachers, Jessie and Melanie. They stopped by with a smoothie. Lemon Bliss--my favorite.

Next it was a text from Emily, who I knew wasn't going to make it that night.

'How are you feeling about tonight?'
'oh fine,' I replied.

'I'm going to get H in a few mins, want me to come out there and help ya get ready?'

'I'd love that if you really could.'

'We'll be there there at 3:00.'

Em swept in at 3:00, as promised, and made everything seem possible. She washed dishes, swept my floor, frosted cookies, held the baby, and chatted with me like only an old friend could. (We covered all topics--from politics to babies to 'would you ever get a boob job?' It was awesome.) When she loaded her children up to leave, I felt so happy. So much more than the physical support of sweeping up the crumbs from my kitchen floor, her visit was such a boon to me emotionally. It left me energized and excited, for the first time all day.

And the love kept pouring in. My friend, Stacey, swung by to pick up the chocolate chip cookie dough to bake at her house. Taylor arrived home from work an hour and a half early to help me! He came bearing dozens of cupcakes--all of which my sil, Melissa, had baked for me. And then Jessie called. "How about I come over and pick up your kids? I'll feed them so you can get everything set up without the mess or worry of dinner."

Can you feel the love?

I mean, it wasn't like I was on my sick bed or had a real emergency. It was a party. But these acts of service came from my beloveds who know how important this this tradition is to me. Valentine's Day was seriously living up to its meaning.

By the time the guests arrived at 6:30, everything was clean, set up, and perfect. I felt more calm than I ever have at the start of a party. We had a great time. The children gobbled up treats, than headed upstairs to make mayhem of the toy room. The adults relaxed in the living room. It was mellow and festive and lovely.

Unlike most years, I didn't take many photos. With the party in the evening, the lighting for photos was obviously terrible, so I was unmotivated. The menu was similar to last year. We had:

*Chocolate chippers with milk shots

*Mini lemon cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting and raspberries atop

*Taylor's homemade Ding Dongs (so much better than Hostess!)

*Heart shaped sugar cookies in every color of the rainbow (holy smokes, these were the hit!!)

You know, I think about Cookie every day. On Valentine's Day I was in tears because our mailbox is in a large lock-box with everyone else in the neighborhood, so I had nowhere to leave some chocolates for the mailman.

Cookie's mother, Rose ('Old Nana') passed away yesterday. She was about to turn 100 in March. I felt sad that she didn't quite make it to the centurion mark, but I'm certain she's thrilled right now. And I know Cookie is, too. Love to my 'family' in Ohio. Life without Old Nana will not be the same.

XOXO,

anne

Planning for Valentine's Party 2011

People keep looking at me shockingly when I tell them I am indeed hosting my annual Valentine's Day party this year. (So what if I go into labor while I'm serving lemon cupcakes??) I couldn't cancel this year. I couldn't because it's tradition. More importantly, I couldn't because Cookie, my darling friend and the woman who began this tradition, lost the battle with cancer in September, so I feel like it's never been more important to host a party that celebrates love.

I'll tell you a little more about Cookie on another day, but for today, here are some photos from last year's party, plus some ideas for this year's party to get your wheels spinning. (What? You weren't planning on hosting a V-day party? Hopefully I can change your mind. I think it's the best tradition of the year!)

I keep it pretty simple. No meal, just sweets.

Last year's spread included mini lemon cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting and fresh raspberries on top. (These were the biggest hit and I am definitely serving them again this year.)

I use this Ina Garten recipe, but even if you just use a lemon cake mix, they are still amazing, thanks to the frosting:

Beat 6 T softened butter, 9 oz. softened cream cheese, and 3 tsp. lemon zest with mixer until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in 4 1/2 cups powdered sugar.

Next in the lineup were chocolate cupcakes with pink butter cream frosting and brownie hearts.

I've mentioned before that I'm not above cake mixes. I use a devil's food mix for these. For butter cream frosting, memorize this ratio (it makes perfect butter cream every time!): 1 stick butter to 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar to 1 T milk. (Mix the butter and sugar and then add the milk.) For 24 cupcakes, you'll want to at least double that recipe. (I triple it since I pipe on such a huge layer of frosting!)

For the brownie hearts, just bake a brownie mix, but in a large sheet pan so they're thinner. Once cooled, cut hearts out with a cookie cutter. Use toothpicks to anchor them in the cupcakes.

The final player last year were these red velvet cupcakes.

I have to say, even though I think these little cake toppers were the cutest ever, I wasn't in love with my cakes. (If anyone out there has a killer red velvet recipe, do share! I've all but given up after several failures...)

This year, in honor of our dear Cookie, I thought it only fitting that I include cookies on the menu.

So I'll be serving:

lemon mini cupcakes with raspberries
chocolate cupcakes with chocolate glaze or butter cream
sugar cookies with glaze
(this is the only sugar cookie recipe I trust and I like this one for the glaze)
chocolate chippers with milk shots

{I'll be sure to post a recap with pics!}

Happy Valentining!

xoxo,

anne

Post-Christmas Thoughts

I hope you all had the hap-hap-happiest Christmas ever! We sure did. Christmas Eve is spent with Croppers--eating Mexican and acting out the Nativity. Blaine makes a cute wise man. Although "Mommy, I need you!" was definitely not the right line. Oh well. Christmas Day is spent with Halls eating donuts (to tide you over), opening gifts, and feasting on Eggs Benedict a la Taylor.
After Eggs Benny my two little nieces raced over to their friend, Sadie's house, just across the street. They had to do the "what did you get this year?" routine. I smiled as I thought of phoning Beth every Christmas around noon to ask that same question. What I never anticipated then was how much Christmas would change as I got older. How when you're the mom sometimes your stocking doesn't bulge quite as much (I remember my mom's was always depressingly floppy (=empty)! ) but you don't really care. How it's much more fun to watch people open your gifts than to unwrap your own. Don't get me wrong. I am just pleased as punch about my new apron, my cupcake book and cupcake tree, my argyle sweater, and my new copies of Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes. It's just that those don't make Christmas anymore. You know what I mean.

Giving was particularly rewarding this year after spending a lot of time hand-making the gifts. I was absolutely giddy watching people try on their new goods that I sewed. (I sewed!) (Pictures coming soon.)

Another thing I thought a lot about this Christmas came from the following Christmas eve conversation with Taylor.

Anne: Oh, Taylor, I feel so bad. I don't have any sweets to put in your stocking!

Taylor: I don't need any. I've been eating so much sugar and chocolate this holiday season that nothing could possibly seem like a treat.

And I felt the same. We go to so many office holiday parties and potlucks and cookie exchanges in December that by the 25th getting some hershey kisses in our stocking is like woop-dee-do. Some kids get so many presents that they don't even look at one gift fully before tearing open the next one. I guess what I'm saying is that I think we have a lot of excess. We treat ourselves so much on a daily basis that things aren't special anymore. And when I use the word "we" here I'm talking about "me." Include yourself if you want to, but I am not judging anymore, remember? I just think if I practiced a little more self-restraint, I would enjoy treats more fully. (Sweets are a good example, but this principle is far more broad, obviously.)

And to wrap up this random post-Christmas post, I will tell you about two more Christmas presents.

#1. Roger was very sick a few days ago. A lingering cold became bronchialitis and sinusitis resulting in a cough that was uncontrollable. The poor boy was coughing until he gagged. He couldn't sleep very well. He was not himself. Thanks to a priesthood blessing given by his dad, and some antibiotics and nebulizer treatments prescribed by the wonderful Dr. Mary, he is recovering remarkably fast. Today he was boogie-free and cough-free, and crawled around all day with the biggest grin a ten-month-old could possibly muster.

#2. We the latter-day saints believe in a lay clergy. That is to say, none of us get paid for our church service. Not even our bishops (pastors). We all have jobs and responsibilities-- "callings"--and are asked to give of our time and energy to serve those in our congregation. Today I accepted the calling of Young Women President in my congregation. That means I am responsible (with the help of counselors and a secretary) for the lessons and activities for all the girls ages 12-18. Truthfully, I am humbled. I had excellent Young Women leaders growing up, many of whom affected me in deep and permanent ways. I want to be that kind of leader. I am also really, really excited. Serving with the youth is my fave. They are so fun and vibrant! I feel blessed to have the opportunity.

Now, truth be told, I typically find the days after Christmas to be on the depressing side. But we will have none of that this year. I've got big plans to kick January up a notch. Are you excited?!

Anatomy of a real Mothers' Day

A sentiment I've heard from many a mother: "Mothers' Day is never what you think it should be. You read sweet things on greeting cards and hear accolades over the church pulpit, all the while feeling guilty for losing your temper, comparing yourself to other women, and wishing your kids would just behave and get along for one single day!"

What I've learned for myself: "That's not what Mothers' Day is about. It's not for all the stars to align on the second Sunday of May. It's about taking a day to reflect on and be grateful for motherhood. Things will happen just like on any other day, so just dig in and celebrate your life for what it is."

So, I give you... a real Mothers' Day--2011.

6 something a.m. Listen to Taylor drive off to his Mom's house so he and his brother can surprise her with breakfast in bed like when they were kids. Roll over and feed the baby some more.

8:30 a.m. Peel myself out of bed and hop in the shower. Get out to the sounds of Taylor whipping up something in the kitchen and the boys getting up. Dash around the house like mad to get everyone ready for church in an hour. Put on my favorite shoes and think of Cookie. {She bought them for me on my last visit with her.}

9:43 a.m. With all three boys plus the neighbor kid in tow, depart for church with cheese, bananas, coffee cake, and cold milk on the center console of the mini-van.

10:45 a.m. Friend behind me during the church meeting gets my attention and whispers, "Blaine is coloring on his shoes!" I look over to see that, in deed, he has stopped working on the puppy dog coloring book and has successfully colored all of the white squares on his checkered vans red. I look at him incredulous. "I thought it would look nice," he says with a sheepish grin. Awesome. We have a budding Alexander McQueen in the family. "Please consult me the next time you decide to redesign your shoes," I whisper back, wondering what the consequence should be. (Still wondering.)

10:48 a.m. Look down to see that Roger is using the same red crayon to color on the carpet. "Stop!" I whisper loudly. "What are you doing?!" He replies, as he points to Blaine, "He made me do it." Awesome. Roger wails as Taylor pulls the crayon out of his hand. I carry him out of the chapel.

1:30 p.m. Return home from church to get busy in the kitchen. Taylor makes a zillion enchiladas and strawberry rhubarb pie for his mom while I make strawberry pie for mine. As I stand at the counter in my apron, I smile. Countless memories of rolling out pie crust and preparing fresh strawberries with my mother flood my mind.

4:00 p.m. The boys get squirrely and start pulling and snitching at Taylor's pie crust dough. I scurry them out of the kitchen, roll out a long sheet of paper, plop the bucket of markers on the ground and announce, "This is to wrap your grandmother's gifts. Color away!" I smile as I get back to my pie, patting myself on the back and thinking, "mothering just takes quick thinking and creativity."

4:13 p.m. Lightening strikes me for my pride. The boys are yelling. Roger has scribbled on Blaine's picture and Blaine has taken revenge by coloring on the back of Roger's nicest shirt. Punishments are given. Boys wail, scream, and kick. A temporary ban of crayons and markers is announced.

5:00 p.m. Dinner with my family. Enchiladas, tomales, bean dip, and dessert galore. Conversations about beekeeping, famous pianists, Dad's newest calf that won't eat, the latest Twilight movie, and breastfeeding. I give Mummy her gift, which she adores. I try to get her away from the sink, where she is scrubbing dishes. She refuses. Classic.

6:20 p.m. Cousin Sophie comes upstairs to announce that Rog peed all over his pants and the floor. I look at Taylor with my best "it's Mothers' Day" smile and he goes down to clean it up.

7:15 p.m. We arrive at my husband's family dinner to find all of the women sitting upon thrones. I take my place with them.

8:00 p.m. I give my mother-in-law her gift. She weeps.

8:15 p.m. I sit with Jared Carter on my lap. He coos and smiles and loves me.

Happy Birthday Clara Deer

My little deerie Clara turned one last week and don't you worry, I wasn't caught unprepared.  I threw a giant family party with a theme I'd been planning for basically all of her life.  The inspiration came from these birch tree paper straws:

I fell in love with them on Pinterest one day last year and I knew--it had to be a woodland theme.  So I saved out all of my forest creature and toadstool ornaments after Christmas last year instead of sending them back to the attic.  And I picked up a few things here and there.  Like a crazy kitschy pinecone and squirrel cookie jar I spied at my parents' cabin. 

I wish the party hadn't been on a darkish, rainy evening, so my pictures were a bit more picturesque, but you'll get the idea...

For dinner I requested Taylor to make his amazing shepherd's pie because it's full of rosemary, and what's more foresty than that?!  Yum.  Jessie brought spinach salad and my MIL Mary Anne and SIL Melissa both brought amazing homemade bread.  We served our favorite sparkling lemonade in mason jars with the birch straws. 

I  made both vanilla and chocolate cupcakes, both with my vanilla bean butter cream frosting.  Always a winner.  I pretty much die about the little deer and toadstool toppers.  

 Besides all of my kitsch, I tied some perfect red dottie balloons to Clara's highchair, and re-used the doily bunting from Dan and Marisa's rehearsal dinner this summer.  I didn't get a great shot of it (great, I'm so delinquent,  I'll never be featured on a party blog ;), but it hung all through the dining room.  Very fun.

I have to say, this was maybe my most favorite party to date.  First of all, it was so amazing and fun to have so many family members there--great-grandmother, all four grandparents, great aunt, aunts, uncles, oodles of cousins, and best friends.  We are so lucky.  Plus, I adored the decor because most of it just kind of happened--it was all about one of a kind, unique, vintage, collected treasures.  It was all so sweet.

Clara was hilariously demure and hardly ate any of her cupcake...

but she made sure to feed some to me.  (I die about her expression in this photo.)

I knelt down next to her for quite a while to watch her with her first cake and just felt so complete and joyful and blessed.

It's a zoo around the Blue House most days, but a happy one.  And we are so thrilled that Clara is a part of it.

xo
anne

sources:
Birthday Crown--Little Blue Olive
Deer and Toadstool Cupcake Toppers--Layer Cake Shop
Red Dottie Balloons--Shop Sweet Lulu
Birch Tree Paper Straws--hopefully coming soon to Penny and Tillie

Happy Birthday to Me!

Guest Blogger: Blaine Tanner Cropper, age: one year!

dadadadadada
mamamamamama
da!
hizow!

OK since those are all the words Blaine knows, I (Anne) will help a little...

Hi friends! Hooray! Today I turned one year old! I was born on May Day, which is very special. I hope you all had a wonderful May Day.

Here are some pictures of me on my Birthday Eve:

I love to snuggle. I still don't love to snuggle my mom and dad very much. Dad says it's becuase he and Mom aren't soft and furry enough. That's true. I prefer my bear and my new monkey (thanks Nana Cookie, Old Nana, and Auntie Holly!) Last night I wanted to snuggle with them so much that I begged my mom to put me in my crib.

I love it in here!

Bear is snuggly soft and keeps me company at night.

I am learning to be gentle.

Besides stuffed animals, I have an affinity for my red mittens.

Even though I was excited for my birthday, I went to bed without a peep. Going to bed is the best when you have snuggly pals like I do.

My birthday today was a happy day. We didn't do much to celebrate since it was a busy day for Mom and Dad. That was OK with me. Let's be honest, I don't know much about what is supposed to happen on a birthday. The low point of my birthday was when I threw up my lunch all over the couch and rug. The highlight was playing with Mom and Dad.

Here I am playing with a whisk. I love to play with kitchen gadgets, so Mom thinks (and hopes) I'll be a great cook like Dad.

Guess what? You're invited to my belated birthday party! It's going to be on Saturday, May 12th at 12 p.m. Want to come? Post a comment and my mom will tell you more.

Bye! Love, Blaine

Blaine's World

Guest Blogger: Blaine Tanner Cropper, age 13 months

Dear friends and family, I thought you might want to know what I've been up to lately.

In April, my Auntie Becca and cousin Eliza came to visit. I poked Eliza in the eye once, but am learning to be more gentle. See?


Also in April, my Aunt Sally (Sara) graduated from BYU. Congratulations, Aunt Sally! I hope you're having fun in Alaska, but do you know what? I MISS YOU!!!!!!

Did you know that I just turned one?! On May 1st. It was super! I got to open some presents. Here I am opening a big box of gifts from my family in Ohio. Thanks, Nana Cookie, Old Nana, and Auntie Holly! As you can see, I really enjoyed playing in the packing popcorn.


I also really love my presents. I sleep with my monkey every night. Thanks to everyone for your generous (I know--big word for a one-year-old!) birthday gifts.


A few days after my real birthday, I had a little BBQ party. It was a hoot! Here I am tasting my first sugar ever.

Mmmmmm...frosting!!!!!

I love my birthday!

Yum!!!!

The funny part is, after licking up all the frosting, I tried a bite of the cupcake. Blech! I threw it on the ground!

One of my new favorite things to do is sit in this bottom drawer where my mom and dad keep the dish towels. They make a nice pillow for my bum.

It's also handy to stand in the drawer, because it works like a step stool, and I can play with my toys in the next drawer up.

I also enjoy snuggling with the towels. I'm a good snuggler.

Did you know that yesterday I ate an entire bean burrito all by myself? OOOOOH yum, I love bean burritos. Mom thinks it's because she ate Mexican food nontsop when I was swimming around in her tummy.

Here's what I love: Being outside! I could spend all day outside! When I am tired of being in our little apartment, I pat my hands on the door and whine so Mom and Dad know that it's time to get out! Here I am in Great Grandma's yard. I LLLLOOOOVVVVVEEEE Great Grandma! Today at church I saw her accross the aisle and started waving to her and yelling for her!

I helped Mom and Dad plant some veggies and flowers at Gram's.

Hmmm...what's this?

Oh, I can tell by smelling it that it's a tomatillo plant...

All this gardening makes me hot. I have to strip down to my skivvies. (By the way, as you can see here, I have given up crawling. I am now running circles around my parents!)

I think I need to play in the hose.

All that water play makes me tired.

I hope you are all happy and healthy and loving the spring time! I miss you and love you!!!!

Love,

Blaine